Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I am asking myself...when is enough, enough??? I read stories of how people have gotten over the pain, have I have read about what I need to do but I have to have the energy to do some of them..I want to go walk, work out, do things around the house but I am sooo tired of the ups and downs!! Yesterday I got weeding done around part of the house and today I am a total waste.
This morning Jim was wanting to snuggle before he went to work and I couldn't even move I hurt so bad. My lower back is locking up on me too. I really really really wish I felt like I did when I met him!! I wouldn't wish Fibromyalgia on my worst enemy ( which I actually don't have one...that I know of)
I think I am going to try Lyrica again....I am cutting my Effexor out so I might swap one for the other. My swelling, hopefully can't get any worse than it is now. My fingers and toes look like sausages every day.
I love the moments when I have some energy and don't hurt from head to toe but they are far and few between, My mental state wanders sometimes and I wonder if it will leave me for good sometimes!
My husband is a saint as far as I am concerned. I know when he asked me to marry him he was not expecting this from his wife. He signed up for the "old" me and I feel so fortunate he has not tried to turn me in for a better model.... This is not fair to him!! I ask all the time why??? All I can do is accept that this is what God has planned for me. I am sorry Jim!!!!
In a perfect world I would have a personal trainer come to my house and we would work out in my own gym every day. I am going to beat this!!!! I just need to feel sorry for myself somedays...ok most days!!
My cat and dog love having me home!!!!
My legs are on fire and in alot of pain today....seems to be my everyday now! My lower back just wants to burn and kink up on me. I look at my friends and so want to be normal!!!
Jim, I am so glad you enjoyed supper last night. It was nice to make you happy!!! I love you!!

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