Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Another wasted day!

Well this has been a wasted day and I really hate that!!! I have always been a doer and a task master and having a body that won't let me do things makes me crazy! I go to bed with such high hopes for the next day and then the morning comes and I know that my body needs a few hours to get going but it is now 6:06pm and my body is still not going. It is so hard to explain but here goes.......I feel soooo run down, like I have worked a 60 hr work week. I mean I walk from the kitchen to the living room and I plop on the couch because I'm tired...I had such high hopes of getting our bathroom done today. I promised Jim it would be done and I don't like not being able to do what I said I would....I DON'T LIKE NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL MY BODY AND I DON'T LIKE WASTING MY DAYS!!!!! I'm supposed to be getting in the shower right now but the thought of standing up is exhausting me. This is also one of the times I hate it for Jim.....what I mean is lets say he comes home from work and wants to go somewhere together....that won't happen. Or worse yet Jim comes home from work and what does he see but his wife laying around being "lazy".  He says he understands and trust me when I say that I have been soooo blessed with him for a husband but it is still hard not being able to be the wife I want to be for him when he comes home from work....(get your mind out of the gutter, haha) what I mean is having supper cooking or just being up moving around.                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
My friends don't see this part of fibro......they are getting on with their lives today and they think that I am too.....haha boy are they fooled!

Ok so I now have to get up and get in the shower, Jim's daughter just went into labor and have to go to the hospital. I'll be ready when Jim gets home....

Monday, April 16, 2012

Trying something new

I have not been posting as much as I would like to because I have sooo much on my mind but getting it out is a whole nother story....so what I am going to try is to just post short little blip its about how I was feeling the day before or that day and what I did or didn't do.

Yesterday was actually a pretty good day except I had NO energy and feel like I wasted a whole day away! I mean I did things like went to church but them came home and crashed on the bed for a couple hours. ( i had plans to work outside or to paint my bathroom, which my bathroom is now on week 6 of not being done) I went to youth at church about 5:30 and then came and pretty much that was my day....I hate the fatigue that comes with fibro!!!!!!!!!!! That is still one of the hardest things for me to accept...:(

Today has been a better day so far....I have a very dear dear friend that has MS and her and I have decided that every Monday morning we would try to do an exercise class at the Y. Now keep in mind, neither one of us is a morning person and by that I mean we don't get going until at least 11:00 on a normal day so for us to do this class is huge!! This was our second Monday and it felt good. I do what I can and modify if needed but I am doing it!! After last weeks class I hurt in places I hadn't hurt in years and it felt good....yes, it was a good pain for once!!! I so want to get my body back in shape...
My friends Melissa is such a life saver to me some days....she understands me more than anyone (except for Jim) and there have been many days where we have just talked and cried for each other. Melissa deals with alot of leg pain and I pray everyday that it it taken away!! She is such a support person for me and always there for me and she knows that I would do anything for her!!
Now the next challenge for me is to do a class with my friend Michelle....that scares me! What I mean by that is, Michelle is in such awesome shape and told me that this class kicks her butt....it might just kill me then...hahahahahaha

So if this is my last post come look for my body at the Y....it will be laying dead in the exercise room!!!!!!

I am just hoping and praying that I can continue to do this...I wonder if my insurance will cover my membership since my doctor told me that I have to do this??????