Monday, August 31, 2009

Talk about pain!! My feet were in so much pain today, I really wanted to cry!! I went to do my pump class and almost left and it has just started!!! If I had not had a friend with me, I think I would have. My feet looked like Hurman the monster feet! My feet lean to the left!! I don't stand
up straight. They have a lean to is hard to explain. It is excruciating to touch!!
Once my pain meds kicked in, I was able to finish....
Well I am taking my dog to the vets tomorrow. It is a 2 hour drive and I am nervous. Nervous about the drive, staying awake, what the vet is going to say.....this is the vet that the Boxer Rescue people recommended. Say a prayer for us!!!

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Today was a pretty good day!!! My pain level was manageable.....I took one small nap today and kept closing my eyes at certain times but for the most part I did good!!! Went to church, had a great message. Went to Raffaldini with Jim and Sue to collect our wine. Some pretty good ones this time. Came home went to the youth group and had a great message there too. Went back by Sue's house to check out the really cool fabric she put on her chairs.....I love it!!! Came home, watched some tv, now I'm going to bed.
I really really liked having a pretty good day!!!!!!
Please continue to pray for my Maggie. Her leg has gotten worse...she barely puts any weight on her back left leg.......

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I had to sign off a bit ago because my doggie was wanting to lay with me. She is not doing so well, it is going to be surgery and we don't have the money. Trying to figure out what to do?????
She is so loving and a really good dog!!!!
Yesterday was a really bad afternoon and night for me!!! I hate typing and trying to stay awake.
My legs and feet were killing me!! I just really felt like crap!!!!
I have so got to work on losing this weight. It affects the way I stand. 2 pair of my tennis shoes have holes in them on the side.....I need more support(CUSHION).
I am doing better about being active. Going to workout at least 3 days a week. I prefer it if and when I can do 4 or 5.
OK I am sitting here trying to focus and stay awake.....I QMMMMMMMM AM GOING TO END HERE AGAIN. I am going to typr and leave it exactly how it comes out next time. I have made so many corrections...

Have a busy day tomorrow, church, go pick up wine, clean carpet. I so want to clean the cartpet and for some reason ust can"t get it done! Funny thing is, it wi=ont take that long to do.welll goodnight adn sweet dreams.
Please if you read this, leave me a comment.....
Bead party went well this morning. I was up and ready on time, got to the church with plenty of time. Not a very big turnout though.....kinda disappointed. This was our first bead party in a couple months. ( took summer off) and I was ready for a big party but at the same time kinda glad it wasn't. I actually started to fall asleep while finishing a necklace for a client.....It came on me, just like that!!!!

Friday, August 28, 2009

I took me a 15 minute nap after my first blog this morning. I went to my pump class this morning by the way!!! Yahoo for me!! I so want to try and do this at least 4 days a week. Came home and spent some time talking with my cousin Gary before he left to go back home, in England. Really wished he lived closer, he is a great guy. Laid down for a few and Jim called, needing me to bring him some was I tired but for the love of my husband.........:), hi hunny :)
Since I was out and about went to Michaels to look for bead stuff, Michelle and I have our first bead party in awhile. I don't think either of us are actually up to it. It will be nice to get back into the swing of things though....really could use the money!! My doggie needs surgery!!
Anyway then went home, laid down on the couch to nap and talked to Michelle. We really needed to bead and I told Kyle to wake me up after 30 minutes. It was sooo hard getting up. I left only 1/2 way wanting to go but needed to.Forgot my medicine!!! I was so miserable, I hurt from head to toe and just wanted to crawl up into a ball. Finally got done about 8:00, left right away, came home and had a hot bath. Took my meds first!!!
That is such a bad feeling I can't really begin to explain.....
My sweet hubby in now in bed with me, I say good-night to all!!
I so wish I could get new feet and legs!! My feet have been and are in so much pain. No matter what I am doing, the pain is there to remind me!! It feels like a million needles are poking me and on top of that it just hurts!!!! Even with my pain meds. I try to take my meds early enough in the morning so that I can start my day. Then I try to wait until about 5ish to take my second set. OK I have to stop here for a bit, can't keep my eyes open!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My doggie woke me about 4:30 and have not been back to sleep since then. I am trying to cut back on my Lyrica, not sure if that had something to do with it or not. My legs and arms were killing me and my mind was just awake. That has not happened in quite a while and I hope it stays that way. The months that I was waking up through out the night were just horrible! I was so upset yesterday morning that I didn't get to go to the gym and workout because I was so tired. I wanted to go to the 4:30 / 5:30 classes, couldn't wake up then either. Went for a very short walk last night, a teaser! Tonight we have a ball game so that should help with my exercise today. Also gotta go because I am going to try this kick class with Michelle. This should be hysterical!!! If I can't then I am going to walk across the hall and do yoga. Not able to attempt a run, Melissa is not able to make the class due to tiredness... :(
Have a dentist app this afternoon, maybe I will fall asleep in the chair.....

Monday, August 24, 2009

Well today was a waste of a day for me!!! Got much of nothing done, no energy! I had plans to work out, clean some of the house, clean the carpet, work on the mold outside the house. It took all my energy just to get through the day. I crashed about 5:00! The house could have been on fire and I would have had a hard time getting out. It is so hard to explain to people how it feels. Imagine taking about 5 muscle relaxers and being in pain at the same time. Every bone and muscle in my body feel like they weigh a ton!!!!!
Had a really good supper though. Jim cooked corn on the cob with olive oil and seasoning. Very good!!! I really am a very lucky woman. My husband is so patient with me and loving. I truly am blessed.
Oops gotta go, Jim is going to walk with me....:)
OK so yesterday, everything kind of a downward spiral!!!! Went to church feeling really good, great mood. Feet were killing me but kept a smile on my face!! Saw a friend of mine that looked awesome, she was wearing the same colors and same kind of outfit that I was wearing and I started to feet really frumpy. I jokingly said to a friend that I was the before picture and she was the after in a weight loss commercial. I love her to death and believe me she has worked very hard and is very disciplined. It is something I have to deal with myself!! I need help......I am going to beg my husband to walk with me. I mean long walks. I need someone to do it with me and none of my friends have a schedule that allows them to do it with me or they don't walk. I am doing the classes at the gym but need the walking too!
Came home from church and started feeling ugh about my daughter. I am really missing her!!!! She started college this week and doesn't need me as much I wish she did. I am so proud of her, she has turned into such a beautiful person, inside and out!! I miss her telling me about her life....
She has met a young man and they are hanging out together.....I remember how it was. I can't wait to meet him someday. He really makes her smile, I can hear it in her voice!
I know she hates it when I call her so much and I really do try not to....I just miss her and wish we were closer!!! My husband had to suffer me ranting about that, he is such a great man!!!

Then we went to youth group and I forgot to take my medicine. The pain was awful!! That just ruined my mood. The pain just eats at me! I called my sister in law today to talk to her about her foot pain. Claire has had Fibro for many years and her feet are by far her worst part. She says if she could get by with out her feet, she would. Has tried every pain pill you can think of....gave me the names of some things to look at though. It was great to talk to someone that has the same pain and understands it.
Anyway after youth we dropped Nick off and by this time I was ready to jump off a bridge!!! The pain was every were and I just wanted to crawl into a hole. My dearest friend Michele started to talk to me about meds and what she has read on line, well I didn't take it to well.
We went home and I went up stairs. Jim stayed down stairs and talked with some friends :) I was so happy for him. He doesn't have to think about me.....
Well after they left he came up stairs to see me and I LOST it. Had a meltdown!!! The whole day just got to me.
Gotto go, my hunny is coming home for lunch and I am going to make him a sandwich.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Having Fibromyalgia SUCKS!!!! My legs and feet are in SOOOOOOOO much pain right now!!!! It is hard to focus on 1 thing. I keep cleaning, sit down, check e-mail , I really want to get my cleaning done!!!!
I have decided, I AM GOING TO QUIT my Lyrica!!! The swelling is not acceptable!!
ok lets try this again now that i am kinda awake. i laid down with my dog and took a good nap. my doggy has a very bad leg and we are having to keep her sedated for a week so that she takes it easy on her leg. they think she has a torn ligament and if this doesn't heal it, then it would mean surgery. only 1 problem with that is we can't afford it!!! we are talking at least $2000.00!!!!
i so wish i was working...then i could pay for her surgery. is there a job out there that requires a worn out, broken downed body???? i would be a perfect match.
my feet ad legs have gotten so bad that some days the thought of walking just kills me.
right now my neck and shoulders make me feel like i am tied in a big knot.
ok i am falling asleep again.....
I am sitting here falling asleep and my hand is hitting all keys. My head keeps bobbing forward, my eyes are so heavy!!!! My feet and legs hurt soooo bad! The pain just shoots all over my legs. My neck is giving me a hard time today. OK I can't stay awake, will be back later.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

OK I tried acupuncture today and I think I like it. I went in and my legs were about a high 8 and when I left they were a high 2 and right now they are about a 1. And I have not taken my medicine yet for this afternoon.( I'm going to) Usually about now I would be ready to scream. I would love to fall asleep right now though!!! Can't take a nap, need to get in the shower.
I have another appointment for tomorrow......
My doggies leg is bothering her. She started limping this morning....she doesn't make any noise when I touch it, just looks at me all pitiful!!! Taking her to the vets Friday morning.
I need to stop this and get in shower now or I won't be ready on time..........
Yesterday was a pretty good day, actually it was a really good day! Made myself go to the Y and do the pump class with weights. I am so out of shape but it feels so good and I did the whole class. I am really bummed because I am not going to make it to the Y today. I have a doctors app. at 10:30 to talk about my sleeping and weight gain, both have to go away!!!! I also am going to try acupuncture today. Jim went this past Saturday for his SKOAL habit which he has been doing since he was about 12. He had been doing 2 cans a day and since the acupuncture has done less then 2 cans. From 2 cans a day to 2 cans in 4 days, that is awesome. Jim is going back again with me today for another "treatment", he is going to kick this habit, I KNOW IT!!!
I say all that for this reason.........they say it can help my pain and my weight! I will let you know how it goes.
Back to yesterday - Helped Ms. Virginia with her cats. Ms. Virginia is 88 years old and full of life.
Got my hair colored and fell asleep under the heater and while she was blow drying my hair.
Fell asleep at the red light and had the car behind me blow their horn to wake me :(
Came home and crashed for about 30 did not want to wake up.
Took shower and got ready to go to the funeral home.....Kyle's girlfriends cousin committed suicide at 18!!!!! Will NEVER understand!!!
Then the best part.....made it to the ball field in time to watch the last 2 innings of the KIRKERS play. I even got to wear my team shirt. Our next game is Thursday and hopefully I will be able to play. I so want to be up for it!! I pray I am not hurting to much that day..........I would be soooooo scared to play but so excited at the same time.
Oh and the REALLY great part of yesterday........I ran!!!!! When Jim and I walked Maggie, we started to run and just kept going!!! I loved it, it felt AWESOME!!!!! I mean it was a very short distance but I ran!!! I had energy......WOW, FANTASTIC.....could keep going but I won't!!
Well gotta go to the doctors and start my day......

Monday, August 17, 2009

well I was right, not a fun day! took all my medicine and still my pain level was at about a 9 on a scale of 1-10. my feet are really hurting!!! my lower legs are about a 8 also. every step i took today was pain. i am laying here and all i feel is pain!!! from my toes up to my hip joints. i am going to get up after typing this to cook supper, don't want to even use my legs but the thought of laying here much longer is just as bad!! i hate laying around some times!! unless i fall asleep, which all of a sudden my eyes have gotten heavy.....this just sucks all the way around!!
i want to get things done in my house......shampoo the carpet, hang pictures on the office wall, find picture for my kitchen wall, attach coat rack to the wall.

back to my legs earlier.....had to clean ms. Virginia's house today with Michelle. that in its self was a task.....actually had to sit down a few times. after that i drug myself to walmart for a few things. Could not wait to get home and lay down....which i have been doing for about 2 hours. I STILL HURT.............FUDGEWATER....don't ask it is a word i use.

now i am back to having the jerks!! so much fun!!!!

didn't get a chance to go do my yoga class today. i was so looking forward to going, i really do feel better after going!!! can't wait to hook up the dvd player in my room.....i can do at home!!

i wonder how many times my body can jerk in 1 hour?????
Maggie woke me about 6:00 to go out. I knew it would not be pretty once I tried moving my legs. PAIN!!! Once I hit the floor, it was excrusiating pain! It so hurt to walk.....the stairs were not fun!!! My arms were numb but hurt at the same time!!
oops cat on chest>>>>>can't type. will be back

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I am home last night!
First I want to thank my awesome mother in law. My husband had to drive to meet me at the 1/2 way point because I was so afraid of falling asleep while driving! I can't drive for very long with out falling asleep. I mean I am honestly a hazard to other drivers and my passengers at times. It kills me to admit this!!!!! On the drive to the beach with my daughter, there were times I should have pulled over and did not. I had my daughter in the car......HOW STUPID AM I!!!!! I HATE THIS THOUGH!!!!!!!!
Anyway, my mother in law drove with Jim to meet me. She drove the last 1/2 home with me, even drove the last hour for me. I so love her!!! I am sooooo lucky!!!

I am laying here right now waiting for my legs and feet to quit hurting so much. Right now my pain is a 10 on a scale of 1-10!! I hate the thought of walking right now but I really want to go to church!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My baby girl started college today!!!!!

Friday, August 14, 2009

ok so i read a bunch of posts on this fibro web sight that Jim found for me. i was reading for over an hour. there are different topics. one i was reading about had people asking about lyrica, have you gained weight? i know that is one of the side effects but it is a big one for me. one person said they gained 20 pounds in a little over a month....they were craving cakes and sweets all day. that is me, i can't seem to stop eating!!!! i know i have gained weight over the past couple of years but since starting back on lyrica 6 months or so ago, i can't seem to stop eating! i mean it has gotten insane!!!!!!!
i tried not taking my lyrica today but that is not going to work! my pain was way to bad......i am going on about this because i am going to call my doctor on monday morning and get an app. to try savella.
not taking my lyrica today was not run! needless to say, i took it this afternoon!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

OK it was not a very good day after all!! My daughter has a fender bender. She is ok and the other person is ok. Very little damage and hopefully no insurance filing with be involved. Alexx was very very very upset about the whole thing, it was a pretty traumatic part of the day.
We all still go to the movie but before we leave the house, Jim calls me and he is having problems swallowing. He was at lunch with a client and starting with the hiccups and the next thing you know he is throwing up and can't breath. Enough where he started to turn a little blue and enough to make him leave his client and head to the doctors/emergency room. I was ready to head back to Greensboro!!!
After all that and my heart being in my stomach, he is doing better. They think it was a spasm in his throat. He is going to call and make another app. with his GI doctor in the morning. ONE GOOD THING IS.....HOPEFULLY HE WILL QUIT SKOAL!!! The skoal could very well be aggravating his throat!!!!
I will be happy to be home so I can hold him and tell him how much I love him!! I want him around forever!!!!! My husband is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
After all that, movie was really good (Julia and Julie) We went to eat at PF CHANGS after. I am sorry but the food there is very greasy!
Good morning....I went to the gym with my dad and did the senior workout with him. Let me tell you something.....senior citizens get a good workout!! I was sweating and my legs started to hurt. Of course I am not in great shape...haha!
I am so proud of my dad for doing the whole class!!
My pain level is pretty good this morning, about a 4. It is really in my feet, my neck and shoulders. I would love love a neck rub!!! My neck and shoulders have not hurt in awhile. I hope this is just a passing thing because my neck and shoulders really are not a fun part to hurt.
I think today is going to be a good day. The sun is not coming out and it is an 80% chance for rain ( no laying out for me) but I am going to the movie with my mom and daughter. We are going to see Julia and Julie.
So I am going to go get ready....will type more later.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Not being able to stay awake really sucks!!! On the way back to my parents house ( I took Alexx to her dads in Pawleys) I stopped off at Lowes to get some fruit and ended up taking a nap. Not that I really had much of a choice. When I woke up my mouth was hanging open....what a great look!!! After that I was ok to drive.
I hate typing this because I know it is freaking my husband and dad out but this is what is going on with me! Freaking and scaring me too by the way.
I got back to their house and layed down to read and woke up about an hour later. Well the phone woke was a deep sleep. I am now sitting here typing this and want to fall asleep.
I know people are saying to just get up and is not that kind of tired!!! It is the kind of tired that consumes my body.
I am so looking forward to going to workout class with my dad in the morning....yea!!!
Have plans to go look at desks with Alexx and my mom tomorrow, Alexx can drive :)
Well I made it to my parents house!!! I drove down yesterday with Alexx yesterday. I was really worried about driving because of me falling asleep. I did good for about the first hour and then it kinda went downhill from there for awhile. It started raining really hard and I started falling asleep. I could not keep my eyes open!!! I hate it!!!!! I had to fight with every ounce I had for awhile. I could have let Alexx drive but she didn't know where she was going, Alexx offered to drive several times but it was the part of the drive that was not a straight shot. I almost started crying several times because of the frustration and the feeling of being useless!!! I am only 45 and should be able to drive without the fear of falling asleep!!!
Like I said before Alexx wanted to drive but I told her I was o.k., I think she knew I wasn't......
We stopped to go potty and get more munchie food.....I got a Mt. Dew(have not had one in about 3 years) but I was willing to try anything at that point.
The rain stopped, my Mt. Dew, popcorn and Mike & Ike helped me and I was good from that point on.
I can't explain how I feel about this!!!!
My drive home may take me 6 to 7 hours. I am going to pull over and nap if I have to, I hate this!! I hate this!!! I hate this!!!!
Looking forward to a good day today. My dad and I are getting ready to go for a walk and then check out the gym on base, trying to find him some exercise classes. Plus maybe somewhere I can use while I am visiting here. Then taking Alexx home and packing some of her stuff to bring to my parents house. Hopefully if the rain holds off, I can get some sun at the pool too!!! Just wanna lay there and "sleep"!! Really I want to read while laying there....

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Have I said how much I hate living in a 2 story house??? A 2 story house with alot of stairs!!! For the most part I am o.k. with it, (not that I have any other choice) it is just my mornings that are really really bad. Also when I have to get up in the middle of the night to let Maggie out. 1 step at a time!!! My feet just hurt!!! I mean the thought of stepping and putting my foot down.....pain!!! The pain shoots up my legs........

Monday, August 10, 2009

OK I am sitting here checking e-mail and I ALL of a sudden cannot keep my eyes open, my arms feel like dead weight!!!!! I hate when this happens. Before I started typing this, I had my eyes closed for about 5 minutes and didn't really realize it. Does that make sense?? I keep having to delete letters as I am typing. My finger will relax on a key and my eyes will close and the next thing I have a whole line of letters on the page!!!
I just woke up again from a few minute siesta!!!! My right arm could not hold a cup (eyes closed and back open again)right now if I had to.
My body is really jerking right now too!!!
so I am going to bed........
Well, my fibrohas ruined another mornings plans!! Alexx and I had plans to go to ab class and yoga this morning but my body had other plans!! My legs, feet and arms were burning and felt like dead weight!!! I am feeling somewhat better (meds) now! Time to get going! I have way to much to do today......My pains today is about a 7. This morning it was a 9!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

laying here wanting the pain to go away!!! my legs, feet, back and arms are hurting.........we are going tubing today and i so don't want to be a downer to everyone. it is so hard some days to act like i don't have fibro. my friends will look at me and have no idea how much pain i am in!!!
on another note, i am officially at my largest in 17 years. have not been this big since i was pregnant with my legs are burning!!!!!
i am going to try going to one of the weight loss clinics in the next couple of weeks. they are not taking new patients until august 24th. evidently it is first come first serve so to speak so i am going to start calling right away that day.
gotta go start getting ready......i know i will have a great time today because i am going to be with friends that i love......

Friday, August 7, 2009

can we say slap worn out and legs are on fire!!! my whole body is one ball of hurt right now!! i am laying down and hoping to relax some of it away....took my medicine!!!!!
my feet hurt, the thought of putting shoes on.....i don't want to!!
this is where having fibro sucks....i want to do nothing but lay here but can't. well i could but my husband and daughter would be disappointed. we are going to dinner with friends. it is alot my fault, i should have been home about 2/3:oo o'clock and wasn't. had to clean the offices first. i so don't want to get up and go.........
let's hope my meds work quick!!! my pain this morning was pretty low and right now on a scale of 1-10 it is about a 300 plus!!!!!!
A good morning. I am going to try and type some before I fall asleep again. My goal is to type this and then get up and get going. I am letting Alexx sleep in this morning, she didn't sleep last night. Really don't want to but am going to the mall again with Alexx. Just going to go to a couple of stores.................I would love to lay out by the pool for a couple of hours too. That is my relaxation!!!
As for pain today, I am about a 4 on a scale of 1-10! I love it,if only I could stay awake!!!
My tooth on the other hand is letting me know it is there, I am going to take my pain pill for that...I want to have a good day!
O.K. I have to get up and get moving or I will fall asleep and not get going...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

You know it really sucks to have Fibro! I could list at least 10 things off the top of my head that I hate about having Fibro but I want to talk about only 1 right now!!!
Not being able to contribute financially to our house. I mean I make a little money here and there having jewelry parties, cleaning Ms. Virginia's house but I am talking about income like I used to make before I went on disability. Jim is an awesome provider but when emergencies come up like this week($1026.00 on getting a root canal) I feel so like a burden on our family!! Plus a crown and cleaning that are next.
Jim has been so awesome, never once has he made me feel guilty for not working, it is all done by me and I do a pretty good job. Jim is so supportive in everything I do......
God is always with me and answers my prayers. One prayer he answered was when he sent me Jim. God has seen Jim and I through some pretty tough times since I quit my job and I know he is always with us!
I prey for the strength to be strong for Jim and the wife I want to be....
A good morning so far....I am laying here in bed with my dog at my feet and my cat is laying right up next to me. Nothing like having your hand licked by your cat.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Well I had all the intentions to blog yesterday but my body said no way!! But, it was actually a good no way.....what I mean is that I was just worn out from going and going! Started my day out doing an ab class then an hour of yoga! Yes, I know I should have stopped there but no not me...I went shopping with my 17 year old!!! She is starting her freshman year of college and has to look good!!! (today we are going to do more of the same)
We got home about 5:30 and I was asleep by 6:30 and was up at 7:45. My awesome husband woke me by saying, supper is ready!! Another reason, I love him!!!
The day was pretty good except for my legs and feet hurting........they did really really good up until about 3ish. The really bad part is that I have a toothache!! It was bound to happen. I have a tooth that is 1/2 gone. Of course, my teeth have gotten so bad since my Fibro. My medical insurance should cover this since my teeth have gotten worse, I feel due to my Fibro. I mean in the past year or so, my teeth have gone from not bad to very very bad!!! My gums are awful!!!
My fantastic husband made me a dentist app. for tomorrow. Do I want to go? Yes. Can we afford it??? No!!! It is a tooth that cannot just be pulled and left. It is a visible tooth when I talk or smile.......I am feeling nauseous about going because of the money. I know it is going to be a root canal, new tooth and then on to the many other problems.......
Oops, just saw the time, gotta go and will be back tonight.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

This is going to be kinda random but something that is weighing heavy on my mind and heart. Today at church we had communion and Pastor Craig was praying for us, Alexx, Jim, Tamara Bryant and her husband, Steve. Jim asked Craig to pray for patience and strength to help us with our daily dealings with my Fibro. Again, this was a reminder to me of what Jim deals with on a daily basis....and it is not easy!!! I have bad days and feel sorry for myself but Jim never shows me this.....he struggles with so much!!!! Jim is such a strong man but he needs to be able to lean on me. I know he leans on God!!!!
This DOES not only affect me but my husband and family too!! Just like today after lunch, I needed to lay down for about 30 minutes before we went bowling with the youth group. After bowling not even a whole game I was so worn out. I used to be able to bowl 3 games with no problem!!!! I was ready to come home and lay down for a nap, which I did and am now just laying here typing but I am also having a hard time keeping my eyes open.....I feel a small nap coming on before I go to the grocery store with Alexx.
O.K. my eyes were closed for about 5 minutes so I am going to end here....
Please pray for Jim to continue to have the strength to deal with all the emotions that come along with dealing with my Fibro!!! I have been truly blessed to have him for a husband and I Than God every day!!!!
Pretty darn good day!! Except for a few tired moments ( nothing a few short naps didn't help) my pain level was at a pretty good level......well gotta go to sleep, have church on the morning! Going to glorify Gods name.......

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Had a good night with friends, it felt normal! The men sat outside and drank their manly drinks and we women stayed inside and talked about women stuff. Dinner was good, we had tri-tip. For those of you that have never tried it before I highly recommend it!!!!
I got most things done on my to do list today. They were not done to the standards that I used to have but they got done. I did some yard work, some cleaning up and such. No where near what I wanted to get done but it was a start.
Cleaning the house, again not perfect but enought to feel clean. I even washed 2 loads of towels for Kyle, Yes he had that many towels in his room. If I was to guess, I would say at least 20 towels........but he gets to fold and put away.....

My husband finally left a comment.....that meant the world to me! I want and need to know what he is thinking and feeling. I know we do talk about my Fibro and how it is affecting our lives but his words really had a pull on my heart. I am very selfish and don't put his feelings into account alot of times. I am so wrapped up in how I am feeling, how I don't like how I am. He has been so wonderful to me, in so many ways!!! He deserves so much more........Again with the me....I want my spunk back, I want to go here there and everywhere!
I have put such a financial burden on our lives, me not working. We had bills that were supported by 2 incomes and then to go to just one. Jim has not once blamed me or made me feel guilty in anyway!! I do enough of that to myself!! I know Jim worries about it all the time tough.
Well I am going to try and sleep, my stomach is acting up again,,,,,just the pain. Good news though, I get to pick up my poopy medicine in the morning.....yea!!! But the best part of tomorrow is I get to see my daughter. Alexx is coming up for a week to stay with me, Jim and Kyle....YEA!!!!!!