Friday, February 27, 2009

Thursday was a pretty good day. I actually got going and out of the house a little before 11:00. I went to help Michelle clean some blinds. Michelle is helping a nice lady, Ms. Virginia and she has recently quit smoking and is trying to get rid of all things yellow...walls, blinds etc. Smoked for over 70 years and just quit!! WOW! I helped for about 1/2 but it felt good to do it.
My pain was pretty good too and I didn't fall asleep during the day.

Bible Study was good as always...couldn't keep my eyes open towards the end. Just like right now! I can't stay awake...will say more later.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

This is how some of my nights go...wake up and can't get back to sleep!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I have such an AWESOME husband!!I truly am blessed to be Jim's wife..
Long night and long morning....
Finally fell asleep only to be waken up by Maggie about about a shock to my feet! I got out of bed 1/2 asleep and 1/2 awake and as soon as my feet hit the floor I was reminded that my legs were there! I hobbled down the stairs and hobbled back up and thank goodness fell right back to sleep. When Maggie woke me again about 5:30 my legs were doing good!
I am going to be calling Rotter Rooter today to take care of my stomach problems! It is so effecting my every day life that it is becoming unbearable!
As for my pain level today I would say it is about a 5 out of 10. I think if my stomach problem was gone it would help! My fingers look like giant sausages and I know the rest of my body looks the same!
I never really talk about my family on here...they are awesome! My husband has been the best thing in the world for me. I could not ask for a more patient, understanding, loving man. God truly blessed me with him! I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!
My parents have been wonderful, so helpful and loving! I have the BEST parents!
My in-laws are the best....thank you Sue for all your help and patient too!
Alexx - what can I say, I LOVE YOU! Please don't worry about me!
Kyle - thanks for not giving me a hard time! You have such a big heart!
This past week has been a pretty uneventful week, I have got to get more energy! I have loved my walks with Michelle and Mellissa. Thank you!
Gotta move, be back later...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I am just laying here waiting to fall asleep so I won't feel my legs hurting any more!! On a scale of 1-10, they are about a 45!!! Thank goodness for a sleeping pill or I would not sleep tonight....the pain would keep me awake!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My hands feel so much better today......I can actually bend my fingers. Still alot of stiffness and swelling though but not so much pain.
My legs were in soooo much pain yesterday, especially about supper time. I wanted to scream. I went grocery shopping and just the walking was killing me. I kept switching legs when I would stop (stand on one leg) it helped take some of the pressure off. Pain was still there but not as bad.
Pretty laid back day for me, just kinda muttered through it. I did take Maggie for a walk with Michelle and Simba. Thank you so much Michelle for walking with me, I probably wouldn't have gone without you. Thanks for being my "best" friend!
Still taking my stomach pills and nothing yet! I am beyond miserable! Something has got to give!!! It is effecting me in everything I do. I know I need to loose weight but I swear my stomach is causing some of my swelling...even my hands!
I am really having a bad time dealing with a reality issue friend Leatrice's daughter, Maggie, has been doing wine tastings every weekend and earning $75.00 for 3 hours work. Well Maggie can no longer do this because she is so close to her due date and the standing is getting to her. Well, Leatrice asked Michelle if she wanted to do this and I even called and asked if I could do it. Leatrice asked me if I really thought I could stand for 3 hours on a concrete floor, no sitting and no walking around. I had to admit that I couldn't do this...That is so depressing to me, it really makes me realize the limitation I have!!!(not really limitations just harder to do things) Standing in one place is the pits!!! I am sitting here and my legs are just killing me. Even sitting in one place, I find my self fidgeting!
I so wish people could live in my shoes for 1-2 days...

Monday, February 23, 2009

I have decided that late nights are not for me! I have got to start being in bed by 10:00 at the latest. My day is ruined if I go to bed after 11:00 - 11:30. Woke up this morning and my joints feel like they are at least 100 years old! The pain in my legs last night actually woke me up several times. So between my legs hurting and getting up with Maggie (only once) I slept o.k.
My fingers feel like someone smashed them with a brick, my knuckles are swollen to twice their size and just "hurt"!
I am sitting here and could just fall asleep....I have been so tired lately.It just comes on so quick....I can be doing anything and boom I am wiped out!!! I can't really explain it, just wish my friends could experience what I go through for 1-2 days. IT CAN BE SO OVERWHELMING!
Doing much of nothing today just some simple cleaning and supper cooking.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I have decided that driving by myself for any long distance is not a good idea! The trip home today was a little scary for me, when I can't keep my eyes open and feel like my whole body feels like a dead weight. Imagine being just fine and all of a sudden you feel wiped out!! I am so glad to be home...I miss my daughter and my parents so much it hurts some days but I am soooo glad to be home!! I miss my husband, kyle (yes, you kyle) and friends. If I could only be in 2 places at once?????
Woke up feeling somewhat alive. My legs are in allot of pain and my back is so tense I feel like it could snap at any minute but my brain is clear, so that is a good thing. I am going to be leaving about 12:30 - 1is to head back to Greensboro, hopefully will be a good trip home...I am kinda nervous about getting tired. My dad bought me a book on tape to listen to and that should keep me awake. I can always pull over if I have to but I don't want to!!!!
I love coming to the beach and spending time with my parents, it is something I wish I had done sooner in life. I love the conversations, just being around them. I love you both so very much!!
The icing on the cake of course is getting to be with Alexx!!! The light of my life! I am so proud of her!! She is sooo beautiful!!!
I hate the fact that it is such an ordeal for me to get to the beach. The 4 hour drive just seems to take forever....I actually get nervous about it. I am nervous about driving back by myself...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sorry about not blogging last night about my daughters Coastal tour. Alot of walking! Coastal is definitely not the same as when I went there...8000 students! It is still a beautiful campus and I think Alexx is going to love it. I was so proud of myself, I kept pace with everyone. There were a few times when I wanted to stop but I kept on arms and legs were very heavy! Alexx was so sweet helping me up and down stairs. ( I didn't want to trip) After our tour we went to my parents house and went over scholarships, financial aid and other ways to raise money...anyone want to donate to Alexx's college fund??? Talk about being stressed.....
After all was said and done I went and laid on Alexx's bed and I don't think I moved after that. Just worn out but it was worth it!
My legs are in pain....I did take my 4th stomach pill but STILL patiently waiting for something to happen. Nothing since Monday......feel my misery!!!!!
Today I am going to take it easy, take advantage of it.......I am going home tomorrow and I am sure there will be things for me to do.
By the way, does anyone want to have a bead party?? Michelle and I have some open days and would love to host your party!!! We do birthdays, weddings, girls night out what ever you want....give us a call!!!!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Good morning. Pardon my typing today, my fingers are swollen and very achy. I am feeling kinda loopy this morning and wobbly. Hopefully a shower will help!!
Alexx spent the night with me, that was awesome! I love to watch her sleep! We have a busy day planned and I am somewhat dreading it..we are going out to Coastal Carolina to tour the campus. Then go over money $$$$$$, scholarships!!!!! Alot of walking, I worry that I will hold everyone back.
Funny, I am sitting here typing and I closed my eyes for a second and almost fell asleep. All of a sudden I am that came up quick. So I am going to hurry up here and start moving.
I took my 3rd pill for my tummy problems today. The directions say it takes up to 2 weeks to see a difference....I am going to be patient!!!!
My pain this morning is in my shoulders. neck and arms. I just want to have a pain free day in my legs. So tired all of a sudden...going to go take a shower.
I'll let everyone know how college goes....

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Well I guess you could say I was REALLY tired! I didn't wake up until 12:22 and if I had not been sweating, I probably could have kept on sleeping. I am talking about a HARD sleep, the kind where it takes you about a half hour to really start moving! My body is feeling heavy today, my upper back feels like one huge knot and my arms feel like they are numb but at the same time hurt....does that make sense???
Today is going to be a pretty quite day...not much planned except for a walk with my dad.
I am going to blog again later tonight....

Monday, February 16, 2009

Good eveneing everyone,

Talk about a loooonnnnggggday, it was a great one though I got to spend it with Alexx! I had a doctors app. at 10:45 this morning (to early for me) talk about rolling out of bed and going. I felt like I had been hit by a mack truck and was being dragged behind it! Survived the doctors and drove home very sleepy thinking about my bed....unfortunately I didn't get to take a nap. I got home and had to work on paperwork, paying bills (ugh) and packing. I did try and take a quick 10 minute nap but was afraid it would make it worse.
I had a great 4 days with Alexx!!!! I am so blessed to have her as my daughter. Even when I am mad at her and she is driving me crazy......
Well Alexx and I finally got the car loaded up and were off. Made a few stops along the way and arrived at my parents about 8:00. I was SO HAPPY to get here, I probably should not have been driving I was sooo tired the last 2 hours. (yes, Alexx did offer to drive)
I actually believe my tiredness helped me forget about my pain!!!
Good news, I spoke to my doctor about my IBS getting worse and he suggested I try a product called ALIGN. I am going to start tomorrow morning. Wish me luck, it is supposed to take a couple weeks to kick in.
OK it is late, my legs are staring to come back to me and I can't keep my eyes open so I'll say Good Night!!!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I am to tired to blog today, can't focus my thoughts or keep eyes open.....

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day to everyone....
Well last night was awful! I thought I had 1 sleeping pill left and I didn't. I had another kind my doctor had prescribed for me awhile back that I didn't like , now I remember WHY I didn't like them. It was so terrible I couldn't wait for this morning to get here. Of course that is when I started to fall into a good sleep.
Had a rough start but once I got going it was pretty good. Michelle and I had a beading party, Alexx went with me and we had a good turnout. Hopefully we will get some more parties from this one. ANYONE WANT TO HAVE A BEAD PARTY????
Jim and I took Alexx and Maggie to the dog park, beautiful walk!
Now I am home and resting, my legs are burning and I am pretty tired. My arms are feeling kinda numb, it's hard to explain. Only a little dizzy so far, actually I call it kinda wobbly too...again, hard to explain.
We are going to Jeff and Leatrices house tonight for a wine/fondu party. Looking forward to fun with friends. Not going to be a late night though........
By the way, I did get my prescription filled for my sleeping pills and am looking forward to a good nights sleep.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Just a quick not about my day! It was great, I spent it with Alexx. I know I am her mom and somewhat prejudice....but she is beautiful!! I have to say, I am so proud of her! When so many kids (young adults) are out there doing drugs and drinking I have been very lucky! I am not saying that she is perfect or doesn't do things I don't want to know about (she is my daughter) or that she doesn't drive me nuts.....I am just so lucky!! I love her with all my heart! God so blessed me with her!!
I love the days we can talk about anything, love shopping with her and getting her opinion, doing girl things!!!
If anyone has ever heard the song, In My Daughters Eyes then you know how I feel!
Can you tell it was a good day???
Sorry I missed blogging yesterday. I woke up not able to move very well and had a hard time starting my day! The night before was a lousy nights sleep too! I woke up several times and one time I had to change my pj's because they were so wet from sweating, I also had to lay a blanket down over my side of the sheets because they were so wet from my sweating. When I woke again not only was I freezing because I was all wet again, I hurt all over, my body weighed a ton (no comments please haha) I don't believe the sweating is from old age, I have read that excessive sweating is common in people with fibro. It is one symptom I would love to get rid of!!! I hate it!!! I do it thru out the day!!!!
I finally got going about 11:20 and did a quick cleaning, and left to pick up my daughter....YEA!! Thank you to my AWESOME mother in law for riding with me. I am soooo lucky to have her and I hope she realizes how much I love her! I called her at the last minute and asked her to ride with me....
I did good with driving, didn't get tired until the last 1/2 of the trip home.....
It was crazy when I got home, had a house full of people, bible study night. I never had a chance to slow down. Of course when everyone left, I crashed and burned!
Today is going to be another crazy day....Alexx has an eye app. at 12:00, hair app at 3:00 and Michelle is coming over about 5ish to start beading (have a big party tomorrow) Paul and Nick are coming over later to grill. Hopefully JuJu and Mellissa come over too. I just hope everyone doesn't get offended when I fall asleep!!!
Gotta go wake up Alexx and start our day.....

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

OK so I did something really stupid! I admit it but cannot believe I am about to tell everyone about it....As in my last blog I said that I was full of poop and was miserable so I decided to take 2 laxatives last night (it says 1 to 3) well NEVER again! I woke up about 4 to take Maggie out and had a little cramping but was able to sleep. About 5:30 I woke up in such pain that I thought I was going to be sick. I walked around the bathroom, finally I grabbed a couple towels, made a pillow, laids one on the floor, had one to cover up with and put the space heater near me. I fell asleep for awhile until Jims alarm went off. (o'yea Gizzy was laying with me too) Still major pain but nothing.....finally a couple of hours ago....._______ but still have some pain! I can't wait to go to the doctors on Monday!!! Wow, I bet you are rivited now!!
The good thing is I woke up not feeling all groggy like I usually do, that would have really stunk!!! (no pun intended) This morning my fingers and arms are bothering me. I feel like I have a severe case of arthritis.
I was hurting last night but me feeling so miserable at least helped take my mind of it....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A warning before reading: contains personal

OK so my day started out pretty good but has ended up being a lazy day, doing much of nothing. To be completely honest just feeling kinda blah and to be honest my IBS has made me soooo miserable! I swear I have at least 10-15 pounds of poop in me. I know this is a gross subject but welcome to my world, Fibromalgia is not all glitz and glamor!! haha I am going to see my doctor this Monday and try to get a colonoscopy (sp), I will beg if I have to!!!
The weather has been awesome today! A perfectly good day wasted....hopefully I will get some energy to do some cleaning tonight. Need to get Alexx's room and upstairs bathroom cleaned. Also all of downstairs needs to be cleaned by Thursday afternoon, we are having bible study at our house. I hate the fact that in years past this would not have bothered me because my house would already be somewhat clean and now I hardly ever clean. This is one thing I really hate...lack of energy!!!
Just needed to vent!!
Well I can actually say this is a good morning! I am tired and my legs hurt somewhat but I am up and moving around. I was up with my dog about 5:30 and decided to take my medicine then. I went back to bed and woke up about 9:00........I am not sure if it was because I took my medicine early but I am loving it. I am going to try it again tomorrow.
The weather is beautiful so I am going to take Maggie for a walk before Jim comes home for lunch.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I am finally moving around and it is 12:22pm! I know I sound like a broken record but I so hate morning! My friend Mellissa called me at 9:44 and all I could do was lay here and listen to her message. That just SUCKS!!! Again I felt like I had a severe case of the flu without all the runny nose and coughing. Just could not move!!!

Yesterday I couldn't stay awake in church, I actually closed my eyes, couldn't stop it. I was really embarrassed. Jim and I went to a youth meeting yesterday and again I couldn't keep my eyes open. It just hits me like a ton of bricks. One minute I am fine then the next I just want to sleep!! I can't stop it!! Last night I went to bed at about 9:45, just wanted to sleep! Can you tell I was tired yesterday?

I am going to take my dog for a nice walk today. My friend Melissa "gets" me and how I operate so she is very patient with me on our walks....It is so beautiful out, I think I'll wear shorts!!!

By the way, my daughter is coming up this weekend and I am sooo happy!! Can't wait to see her. It is going to be a bust weekend but thank goodness she is starting to understand me...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Wow, talk about a great 2 days with my husband! Except for some leg pain and afternoon tiredness I had some "pretty normal" days. We walked around downtown Blowing Rock, went window shopping (Jim and the other husbands were soooo patient) ate lunch, had great conversation. Once everyone got into town Friday night, we all went to dinner. This was all on Friday....alot for me! Saturday, we had a meeting from 9-12:30 then a beautiful drive home!
Actually as long as I was moving on Friday my legs only hurt about a 3! Of course once I stopped it went to about a 5. Friday before we went to dinner, Jim rubbed my feet and legs because I wanted to cry.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Wow, had a great day! We went for a walk downtown, window shopping of course. Had a nice long relaxing lunch at the Mellow Mushroom in front of the fireplace! Great conversation......we have been back at the hotel for a couple of hours now, relaxing again! I am loving it.
Of course I am now laying here and my legs are about an 8 and I am tired, but that is o.k., had a good day!
The rest of our group is checking in and once all here, we are going to dinner. I am thinking about staying behind just because I know I will be uncomfortable and don't want to be a downer.
I know I will go though for Jim and to talk with everyone else. We have a great group of people in our marriage class, making some new friends. Shout out to Lori and Chris....
After dinner we are going to have a short get together to talk about anger..grrrr I get so mad. HaHa!!
Well I am going to close my eyes for about 20 minutes. Have a great night and relax!!
Happy Friday! Yes, it is a good morning! Jim and I got to Blowing Rock last night, went to dinner with friends and had great conversation and a great time.
I think I have discovered a medicine I don't like though, unless I take it in the morning. As some of you know I have been having a problem with my right ear. Last night when we got to the hotel my right ear would not pop. My doctor had suggested I try Musinex last week if needed. Well my ear was not that bad so I didn't get any.(last week) Well to make this story even longer, Craig had some and I took 2 last night at dinner. (it was really hurting so why not try it?) Well the last time I looked at the clock it was 2:00am and I had taken a sleping pill about 11:00?????? I am going to check this morning to see if they contained caffeine because I woke again at 5:30 and have been awake since then. I did wake up feeling pretty good this morning!!
Today is going to be a good day, no stress. We are going to the caverns and explore them. This is something I have not done in over 30 years. Am I nervous yes, I don't want to fall down and end up in a hole...haha!
We are also going to walk around downtown this afternoon, something I love to do. I feel that it is going to be a great day. I just worry that I am going to crash and burn this afternoon. My legs on a scale of 1-10 hurt about a 4. Which for me is great. The best part is I didn't wake up feeling like my body weighed a ton! I could move!
I know you said not to use the computer this weekend and relax, well I am still relaxing. I just wanted you to know and I love you for caring soooo much!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I hate waking up!! I waste so many hours a week just trying to get going ......imagine waking up every morning feeling like you have the worse case of the flu you have ever had and every muscle in your body aches and your body will not move. I was awake and my whole body would not move!! Welcome to my mornings!!!
As I am typing this my arms have a numbing pain running thru them....I am thinking about the 10 things I want to get done today before Jim and I leave for the mountains. I also realize that I will only get 2 or 3 done. Hard for me to accept!!
Yesterday once I got going, my day was pretty o.k.. Except for some leg pain, getting a little wobbly, I got thru my afternoon. Went to marriage class (not that we need it, just learning how to make it I couldn't get comfortable, my legs were killing me. I so wanted to start rubbing my legs or ask Jim to rub them anything to make the pain go away!
I love my cat and dog! They wait the morning out with me every day. Laying on the bed with me, loving up on me, talking to me, being my friend!!!
Well I need to get going, if I am to get my 2 or 3 things done. I am soooo looking forward to this weekend. The mountains, friends, snow (hopefully) just getting away with my husband! They say that stress can trigger a flare up of my fibro so this should be a great weekend! No stress!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

You know just once I would love to wake up and be able to jump out of bed. Remember those spring days when you wake up, the windows open and you can smell the grass and smell the sunshine? It is a great feeling isn't it? Well, I would love to wake up feeling like that again! The kind of feeling where you feel ALIVE on the inside!
Granted I can get up and get going some mornings but it is never with a spring in my step. Most mornings it takes me at least 2 hours to get going. (sometimes more) I wake up and I feel as though my body weighs a ton and my legs are on fire.
Jim has been very patient with me and that is one of the MANY reasons I love him!
I want to feel NORMAL! In my mind I remember what that feels like so why can't my body listen to my mind? Today I woke up at 8:45 and by 11:00 I was moving around. Of course there goes my morning!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009



Welcome to my life! I am not sure where to start but here goes....I have Fibromyalgia! This is a "disease" that will totally take your life and turn it upside down. One minute I was running around like a wild chicken and the next I couldn't get out of bed. My house could have been on fire and I would have just laid there.
I hurt from head to toe and thought I was going crazy, come to find out I'm not! I have tried keeping a written journal but that didn't go to well. I always have to much to say. HaHa.
There are so many symptoms, I think I have all but 2. Pain, exhaustion, memory loss, ibs, ic, fibro fog, dizziness, twitches, sleepleness and more that I can't remember right now. Thank goodness for spell check!