Friday, May 29, 2009

well i did absolutely nothing after i got home. i all of a sudden hurt all over and didn't want to move!!! i layed on the bed with the animals! i cooked a microwave supper that was not so good!! my poor baby attempted to eat of course i have not gotten anything done on my "to do" list! i really want to get somethings done before i leave for the beach june 3rd. when i leave, i will not be back in greensboro until june 21st!!! then i leave again for the beach july 12th and will be gone until july 26th....
about 12:00 i became wide awake and had "some" energy and stayed awake until 4:00am!!! that sucks!!!

lets hope today is a better day....

Thursday, May 28, 2009

yea, i get to have a colonoscopy next Tuesday!! i can't wait!! i could do without the yucky liquid stuff though!!! i hope this helps with my poopy problems......
worn out and don't feel like doing anything...but i have a list of things. lets see which one wins out.....
Good morning,

I think today is going to be a good day! I am up and moving around...I have actually done a few things already!!!! Laundry, let Maggie out and am now going to go hang a bullitin board in Alexx's room.
I think the reason I am up and going is because I know I have an appointment with the poopy doctor today. I am nervous. I actually cancelled an app. a couple of months ago because I was nervous....I know I will be glad once I go!!!
I am so glad I crawled down the stairs this morning and took my medicine legs felt like....I don't know how to describe lets just say VERY bad pain!! I can actually walk now. I just have to stay legs still hurt but this is manageable for now.
My right wrist is killing me....not sure what I did!
I went to the pool yesterday, walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes and then came home and worked on the mess in front of my dining room window. Jim pulled the bushes out and I am now getting it ready for other bushes or plants. Not in a real hurry......just want to keep it neat.
The water felt so good legs just plain ol hurt. I couldn't swim without a noodle! My energy was just not there....I am so glad that I worked thru it!!! I am looking forward to tomorrows water class and getting back on the tread mill!!
If I could just stay awake!!! I keep falling asleep while typing this...I am getting to be where I can fall asleep anywhere, even standing up. I am going to call my doctor about a medicine I heard of that might help??????
My arms are burning and my lower arms are hurting so I'm going to go......

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Good Morning,

Once I get my legs moving I am going to get up!!! Looking forward to water class today.........

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Had a great time with my daughetr this weekend!!
Saturday I was able to go to an estate sale with Michele. We were looking for jewelry and got a few cool pieces. I got a REALLY cool watch for $2.00 and I love it!! Took Alexx to get her hair cut....went to memaw and papa's house for some great conversation and fun! We played a fun board game....(who done it) Love spending time with Sue and Mike.
The cool part is that my pain level that day allowed me to do everything. My pain level was about a 5, which for me is good! My left knee is really giving me a bad time!! Actually it is my whole left side! My tiredness is still there in a big way! We were eating lunch and I couldn't stay awake! I mean could not stay awake!! I kept closing my eyes, my speech was slurred! Alexx said I looked high.....I could not drive!!!
Sunday was a great day at church, great message!!! I had a tough time in the morning with my body! Just couldn't move to fast......
After church, Alexx and I went shopping for some clothes....really wants to change herself, how she dresses. I think she got some really nice things. LOVE HER PURSE!!!!!!
Went bowling with the youth. Had a blast!! Check out my pictures on the KIRK website and my facebook later.
I gotta get going this morning /afternoon!! I am still not taking any sleeping pills and am sleeping pretty good! I am still not doing so well in the mornings though. My body just doesn't want to wake up....
Here is to a very busy week!!! Prey that I have the energy to get through it!! The pain I work through....I am trying to not let it stop me....hahaha, I am trying to be positive...the pain really sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

i keep falling asleep so i am going to end here and get up!!!!
have an awesome day!!!!!!!!!
Happy Memorial Day Weekend to everyone! Please remember the reason for the holiday! Thank a soldier!!!
Let's talk about leg pain.....first my left knee has really been hurting me since last weekend. I have to hold on to something to get down and get back up. The pain is very intense!! Fast forward to last night, actually 2:41am and 4:3oish am, Maggie woke me up to go potty and I thought I would scream getting out of bed....walking down the stairs was excruciating!!! When Maggie came and got me the 2nd time I wanted to scream.....if I didn't care about my carpet I would not have gotten up. The 3rd time about 8:00 was much better. I would love to know what I did to my knee......the legs hurting, i have already but adding the knee??????
My fingers feel pretty good this morning though...still swollen but not hurting!!! That is pretty cool for me!!
I am really really getting scared, nervous about my thought process,jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj****oops I fell asleep with my finger on the key*
my memory has gotten so bad, I am afraidsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Thursday, May 21, 2009

It happened again this morning when I woke left hand was freezing cold and my arm was kinda numb. My legs hurt just to move the littlest bit!! When my feet hit the ground I felt like my legs where made of concrete and they just cracked into a thousand pieces!!! I tried rolling over this morning to kiss Jim goodbye and it took everything I had to move. I felt like a dead weight and I have not been taking any sleeping pills. Yea to that, 1 week no sleeping pills and I have been sleeping!!
My hand part is really weird, it just gets cold through out the day. My hands and arms have been hurting so much lately.
I went and ordered Alexx's graduation present yesterday, I am so excited!! I hope she likes it.......I am also getting my engagement ring a 1/2 size bigger. My knuckles have gotten so big!!! I have man looking hands!!!!
I can't wait to wear it and not worry about it getting stuck or hurting. I love my ring!!!
Back to Alexx's graduation, I can't believe it is almost here! Just make sure I have a full box of Kleenex that day!!!!
I missed my water class yesterday but I went swimming any way. It felt so good, I swam 8 laps! For me that is is a wide pool and 1 lap is there and back. I just keep thinking about how it helps my shoulders and my legs. I am going to make tomorrows class and swim laps too!!!
I so want to loose this weight!!!!! I am back to journaling what I eat.
I can do this!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

One last thing, riding on the back of the bike is a great way to spend time with GOD! I so loved praying and talking to GOD!!!!
I am really worried about my driving....I get where my arms are a dead weight, kinda like they are right now. I have to really concentrate on lifting them and using them. I all of a sudden get very tired, so tired that I have to fight to keep my eyes open. I can't focus......I do get scared!!!
My memory is really really scaring me!!! I will say something and Jim will let me know that I have already said it several times. I don't remember saying has gotten really bad. Yes, it is putting stress on me and Jim. I am almost scared to even talk with the fear that I will snap!
My eyes have also gotten alot worse, I am making an appointment for both Jim and me! I have to really focus on what I am reading....
My hands get very cold and I get a tingling sensation and it drives me nuts!! My knees really hurt, so much that I hate having to bend and get something.....but I am going to the Y!!!! Gotta go do my 20 minutes on tread mill or elliptical. (i know my knees don't need that!)
Good news though....I scrubbed my kitchen floor on my hands and knees!!! Yea, that has been on my to do list for about 6 months!!! I finally got it done!!!! A huge sense of accomplishment!!
A relaxing, beautiful, weekend!!! We left on Wednesday and came back Sunday, of course I could have stayed a few more days. We had great weather except for a little rain on Friday and a really crappy day on Sunday. I have not been that wet or cold in a long time......We had to pull over a couple of times and hang out under the overpass. O' and by the way for anyone that doesn't know what I am talking about...we went for a ride to the outer banks. I was so afraid of how I would do, not being able to make it the whole way without the pain taking over. I did great!!!! I kept falling asleep and was afraid I would nod right off the bike but I stayed on. My legs were in alot of pain but I made it. My knees and ankles were the worst!! As long as I stayed on my pain meds I was o.k.
I have not taken a sleeping pill since last Monday!!!! So far so good. I sleep for a couple hours then wake up, am awake for about half an hour then go back to sleep. If I am lucky then I sleep for the rest of the night. A couple of nights I have woken up for a few minutes again but no big deal. Keep your fingers crossed it stays that way. I have loved waking up and being able to stay awake. For the most part I have been getting up by 8:00. This morning has been the exception though, I couldn't wake up! Last night I was sitting in the closet (looking at stuff) and fell asleep talking to Jim. Jim put me to bed, I planned on only taking a 30 minute nap the next thing, it was 12:00 and Jim was coming to bed. I did a few things and then went back to bed. I was worried I wouldn't fall asleep but had no problem in that area!!! This morning has been somewhat rough for me. I woke up about 9:40 and that lasted for about 2 minutes, the next thing it is 10:50ish..... My body feels really tired and my legs just don't want to work. My knees are burning too. My knees have been giving me a real problem lately too. It hurts to bend down and get back up.......
Gotta go for awhile, my hubby came home for lunch.....

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

this not sleeping really sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Well I am supposed to be packing but as you can see I am not getting very far. I will get it done though.....
I am not allowed to drive for the next couple of days which is good timing because I will be on the back of the temptation. I was driving today and should not have been. I was fine and then all of a sudden I felt like I was on a really bad drug trip. I felt like I was out of my body, couldn't keep my eyes open, I really was out of it for about an hour or so! Jim made me a doctors appointment and he came and picked me up. My doctor has pretty much forbidden me to take my ambian (sleeping pill) any more. He REALLY REALLY hates it and I was taking it every night, I had a prescription from my other doctor. Hopefully this will help me. I can't keep going on like this!! The last 2 days have really been bad for me, I think I would go insane!
I will not be blogging for the next couple of days...please keep Jim and me in your thoughts and prayers this week. (Our friends too)
I am so looking forward to a relaxing couple of days..
TODAY IS NATIONAL FIBROMYALGIA AWARENESS DAY!!!! I wish I could get this out to everyone......
Yesterday was a very crappy day....close to a day from hell for me. Sunday started it for me, I spent the afternoon on the couch trying not to throw up, trying not to move because I hurt so bad!! It just went down hill from there. Yesterday I woke up and prayed I would make it thru the day. I think it was about 4:00 when I was finally able to get off the bed and take a shower.
I felt like dying is the best way to put it.......I think I cried more yesterday than I have in along time. I had a commitment that I was 3 days late on doing and couldn't wait another day so I went to do it. Dad, I am going to say this part and please don't fuss at me.....I left the house and started driving and found myself calling Jim crying very hard, I did not remember how to get to his office! I totally panicked!!! Once I called him and remembered which way to go I was fine!
I had just been in such a fog all day and hurting.....I was able to get my job done and go eat supper with Jim and Kyle. I felt somewhat better. Jim won me a red teddy bear out of one of those machines that has the big hook. I was so happy!!!
Came home and laid back down...I finished Alexx's graduation announcements and will be mailed today. I gotta get stamps before the go up another 2 cents!!!
Yesterday was just a really bad day....pain, tiredness, feeling quizzy, foggy. Tried not taking my sleeping pill last night, about 1:30 I couldn't take it any more! I am falling asleep while typing this. I woke up with Jim about 7:30ish. I feel alot better and am actually going to get out and do a few errands. I am going to take a 30 minute nap first!!!!!! THANK YOU JIM FOR MAKING ME LAUGH LAST NIGHT!!!
I am so excited, tomorrow we leave for a 5 day bike trip to the outer banks. I am also terrified!! I don't want to hold Jim back. I am afraid I will hurt and not want to get on the bike, afraid I will be to tired, how am I going to feel after I get off the bike??? My friends know I have fibro but how understanding will they really be? How patient will they be??? I so want to have a great time...this is very important for Jim and he does soooo much for me! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.....

Monday, May 11, 2009

i have been without my laptop, i am back and will blog tomorrow!!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Well after a very very busy day yesterday I am soooo sore. My legs don't want to work today but I am so going to do it!!! It is so pretty outside, I am going to take Maggie for a walk after I do a little cleaning....I walk like a 90 year old lady!!
I am going to talk to my doctor next week about cutting out my Oxycontin, can he switch me to something else that would work just as well???? I am so tired of my sweating and if this is the problem????
I am on my last leg of Efexxor, I have stepped down to 37.5 and then to zero!!
I am going to be on very little soon....I want to do yoga and stretching.

Gotta go start my day!!!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Sleeping pills don't always work!! Took mine last night and still kept waking up, not a good nights sleep. Have a busy day ahead of me so I am going to get going......water aerobics feels so good!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I am back to hating mornings!! It takes so much for me to wake up and get moving. My body feels like it has been beat up and I hate it!!!!! I want to get up!!! I want to feel like I am alive when I wake up!!!! I hate wasting 1/2 of my day away trying to get going!!!

Monday, May 4, 2009

This morning was a pretty bad one trying to get body was hurting about a 2000 on a scale of 1-10! Now I am about a 300.....What made it worse was the fact that I couldn't move, my body....imagine the flu feelings multiplied by 1000!!! MY BODY JUST HURTS AND WEIGHS A TON!! I'm having tummy problems again...I had a few good weeks and soooo enjoyed them!!
I am thinking about getting off Lyrica again, the swelling is just so bad I don't think it is worth it. My fingers hurt every day and the swelling doesn't help! My ankles and feet look like porky pigs feet.
I have got to get my eating under control....WHY CAN'T I DO IT?? I wish I could get back on the pills I was taking when I first moved to the beach many years ago.....I wish I could find a doctor around here that prescribes them.......I should ask my doctor out of curiosity?????
I am going to have a house full this mom, dad, brother, sister in law and nephew will be here on Wednesday till Monday. Gotta get my house clean and I am going to ask Jim for help with the carpet and some yard work. I so don't want to stress over this but the house needs to be cleaned and I have been putting it off!
A very busy week!!! Have another bead party this Saturday and have got to find time to build up our inventory. We really went thru alot this past Saturday and are way low. I love being creative!
My fingers hurt....ok I am whining!
Gotta get going....water aerobics, clean Ms. Virginia's house, go visit Ms. Virginia at the therapeutic place she is staying (can't remember name of place) go to AC MOORE for more beading supplies, come home take shower, go bowling at 6:00 with Sue and Mike, come home and do a little bit of cleaning(maybe 1 room)......anyone want to come and help???? I just want to get thru this week!!!!!
My legs are about a 10, I know the water is going to feel wonderful. My fingers are so stiff and swollen the thought of putting on a ring is just painful!
Pray for me that I find the energy to get everything done!!!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Well another early least for me it is. I woke up at 6:00 to let Maggie out then 10 minutes again.....gotta get in the shower and get ready for church. Will be back later.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Have I said that I hate mornings??? This morning was the pits...I had to get up about 7:30 to get ready for our bead party. I didn't fall asleep until about 1:30ish. Right now I am trying my best to keep my eyes open! It is taking every ounce to type this......
Our bead party was AWESOME, great turn out. I have been wiped out all day....I came home and fell asleep. Finally woke and then went to meet ladies for a mystery dinner.....( didn't know if I would make it, my legs hurt so bad and my arms were a total waste)came home took Maggie for a quick walk with Mellissa. I mean short walk but enough to help Maggie. Ok, gotta go to bed, can't stay awake!!!
The office in my house stinks!!! Have got to find a way to get rid of dog pee smell...I hate it!!!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Yes, I am still here! Just had some busy days, bad days, crazy days and good days. Wednesday my legs were really hurting and at some points in my day, I didn't know which way to go because they hurt so bad. We had bible class and I couldn't sit still........couldn't keep my eyes open either. I felt so bad....I didn't want Pastor Craig to think he was boring. Got home and I ended up staying up until 3:00 am. Jim had problems at the office with a new phone system and he didn't get home until 5:30 am. I tried to stay awake........
Yesterday was a busy day but a great day, I spent a good portion of my day with Jessica, one of the young ladies from our youth group. Girl time is always good time. Spent the last half of my day, beading! Michelle and I have a very very large beading party tomorrow.....45+ ladies!! Thank you to Pam for helping us out ahead of time. I am very excited....UPS just dropped off our business cards. The name of our company is...The Great Jewelry Heist!!!!
I am very nervous.....I am afraid I will be tired and hurting. Not being able to control my pain really SUCKS!! I HAVE got to be ready at 8:30 on the dot to leave...want to be there with plenty of time to set up and organize. Please say a prayer for me.
My mornings have been better for me as far as getting up, I have been able to move my body parts without feeling like I am 100 years old. If I only wasn't tired. I woke up this morning, moved around, talked on the phone, read some e-mails, went outside with Maggie and now I can't keep my eyes open. I have to close my eyes for 10 minutes or I'll never make it. My pain level is at a 6 right now. My hips on down is my focus area!! My right arm keeps going kinda numb and my fingers can't be rubbed enough.
I have got so much going on the next 2 m0nths I am praying I get thru it!!!
As for my foggy brain, it is driving me nuts!! My memory is getting worse every day...I am having a hard time with eye sight has got to be checked!!!
I gotta close my eyes for 10 minutes then finish packing for Jim and his fishing trip with his dad. I am so happy for him and want him to have a blast and relax!!