Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy day before Thanksgiving....I know I will not blog tomorrow so I am going to write what I am Thankful for today.....

1. My awesome husband, my life is not complete without him!! Jim, you are my rock, my life, my love!!
2. My daughter...what can I say? I am so proud of the beautiful young lady you have turned into. God so blessed me the day I had you...I love you with all my heart!!!
3. Kyle, I know I am not your mom but I love you as if you were mine!!! You WILL be a famous photographer one day, I believe it!!!
4. Mom and dad, I don't have enough words to say what you mean to me!!! You are the greatest parents in the world and I love you!!!
5. My brothers, who would have ever guessed we would grow up to be friends. I love you guys.
6. Sue and Mike you are the best. I am so blessed to have you in my life!!! We were meant to be family. I love you both so much!!
7. Kris and family.....I always wanted a sister and now I have one. You are there when I need someone to talk to, there when I just need a hug...I love you!!
8. Mike....I love that I have another brother!! One day, we will live closer...
9. All my friends.....You mean the world to me!!!! I love you all!!

First I am THANKFUL to GOD and all his many miracles!!!!
I am so thankful that I can walk, I can use my arms, I can see!!! I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, I have a bed to sleep in, I have a dog that loves me unconditionally, I have a cat that loves me too (my boo). I am thankful that I have a family, friends that love me. I am thankful my husband has a job, I am thankful my parents are such loving and forgiving people, I am thankful my daughter is living with my parents while she goes to college. ( until she gets her own apt next year) I am thankful that Kyle has a huge heart and has been so patient with me while him and I figure out this whole stepmom/stepson thingy. I am so thankful my daughter got the brother she always wanted and a great one at that. I am SO THANKFUL that my new family accepted me and my family into yours.
I have my pain, I have my tiredness, I have my headaches, I have my weakness, I have my extra weight, I have a terrible memory now, I have days I want want to cry, not get out of bed, but I have so much more........I AM LOVED!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Ok so I have not been blogging like I was, sorry just a lot going on and also some days it is the same ol same ol. I mean how I am feeling. My hips are getting worse, they are hurting more and more everyday, especially my left hip. When I win the lottery, I am going to pay someone to give me a massage every morning. I so need one!!! I want my legs to be rubbed for at least 30 hurts so bad but feels so good too.

I am really bummed, my sister in law has the swine flu and will not be coming for Thanksgiving. I pray she gets well quick!!! Love ya, Kris!!!

This past weekend I stayed pretty busy and did ok with it. There were moments I would have begged for a nap and some pain medicine. I am pretty proud of myself for going, going and going. I am trying so hard to put mind over pain.

My daughter is here until Saturday...yea!!

Not much to say right now, can't stay awake.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Day 15.....

OK so it has been 9 days since my last post...just been in a funk, no energy to write (type). Isn't that sad when my brain is to tired to think and not having the energy to type? That is my life on most days!!!!

I am sitting here trying to type and falling asleep...:( I am going to get up and get going...It is my 5 year anniversary being married to my awesome husband. I could go on and on about how wonderful he is but I don't have that much time!!! I have been truly blessed so much by him!! I love you sweetie with all my heart, always and forever!!!

My beautiful daughter is coming up for Thanksgiving...yea, I can't wait to hug and love on her. I am so proud of her, she is turning into such a beautiful, bright, smart young lady!! She is driving up by herself, can we say...nervous? Not her, me!! I know she will be fine.

Kyle made some really good oatmeal cookies... alot of drama going on and Kyle you handled it great! Thanks for being have a really bug heart!!!!

I am really trying to do some sort of cardio every day. I have got to loose this 30 pounds. It will soooo help me feel better. My joints will feel better too not carrying all the extra weight. It is so hard to loose weight when you don't have the energy to move. My mind wants to get going but making my body move is another thing. Once I do my brain is so tired....
BUT once I have done some moving around, I feel soooo much better. It is a sick vicious circle!!!

It is so hard to type with a cat on your chest. I could move him, buy why would I do that?

The past 11 days, I have had a cold, sore throat, small shingles out break, some major family issues (not close family) but just the same, I had to confront some issues. Beading for a Christmas Craft show tomorrow. (11/21) On top of all this, just feeling like crap. There were some fun times too, bowling with family, which I love to do!! Just time with my family!!!!

Gotta go.....lot's to do today...starting with my 30 minutes of cardio at the gym!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Day 14

Day 14..

It is hard to be positive when you feel like crap!! It is 2:40 pm and I have only gotten off my bed 2 times since I woke up. One time to put supper in the crock pot (pinto beans and pork chops) thank goodness for the crock pot, I want Jim to be able to have a home cooked supper.....I hate when I can't cook for him. I am not the best cook but I am getting better.
The 2nd time was for a potty break and to get a drink. Man, I really really wish I had some oranges...big juicy ones. I am drinking oj but it is so not the same :(

I feel like I am getting a cold and pms at the same time. Double whammy!! O'yea my shingles are acting up and that is another pain I don't need! My body feels like it weighs a ton.(no wise cracks needed) My stomach is in soooooo much pain from gas that is just sitting there. (can't believe i just admitted that) does anyone have any secret remedies???

I am going to take a hot bath and be looking my best when my hubby gets home. He shouldn't have to see his wife looking all down and out....I am making no promises though....

Today is Veterans Day.....I am one of those people that cry when I hear the National Anthem, place my hand over my heart, truly respect all those that have served our country! I grew up being an Air Force brat, both of my brothers served in the Air Force, my husband served in the Marines! I am so proud of all of them!! Jim went to a Veterans Day Celebration at Caldwell this morning...I hope he enjoyed himself.

There is nothing better than a soft furry kitty cat (Gizzy) curled up next to you. Especially when he is letting you rub and pet him like crazy. Maggie is sleeping so no jealousy right now. I love it when he climbs on my chest and lets me massage him and he sticks his head up under my neck. That is my positive thought for the day, well not really because I am also positive about my military men!!!

How many woman know that their man wakes up every morning thinking about what they can do to make you happy? I do!!!! I have been so blessed in many ways in my life and I love my husband!
What can I do to make my wife's world brighter?
One if the biggest reasons I hate having fibro is that I cannot do all for my husband that I want. He always puts me first and alot of the time this stupid disease stops me!! I am trying to plan my time better so that I can do for him. Just like using the crock pot to cook him supper. I know he likes a nice meal when he gets home from work. He works so hard......

It is now 3:17 and I am starving so I am going to move and get something to munch on. Hey a protein bar sounds good, lemon, yummy!!!
Then I am going to take a nice shower instead of a bath. It will be quicker...:)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Day 13 - sorta

Day 13 - please say a prayer for me that I wake up in the morning and my sore throat is gone, and my sinuses are done draining. I feel a cold coming on but is kinda hard to tell if it is my fibro
or cold.....I so don't think I can handle it.

Had a bead party tonight...was ok. Any time we can get our name out there it is a good thing!!!
The Great Jewelry Heist.....Create It, Make It, Wear It

Can anyone say shingles?????

Going to bed.......really feel like crap!!!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

I wonder if my daughter knows how truly lucky she is? I wonder if my parents know how truly thankful I am for everything they do for me and my daughter??

My daughter is living with my parents while she goes to college. My daughter has her own room that was decorated just for her. The paint color is a really cool color, not sure of the name but it is soooo Alexx!! Dark teal - blue color. My mother washes her clothes but my mom is going to start teaching Alexx so she can do them herself....:) Alexx gets a home cooked meal when she is there, sometimes even breakfast. Now my mom is working on teaching Alexx to cook. My parents make sure my daughter is taken care of in everyway. This week she is so sick with broncitis. I didn't even have to ask, they made her a doctors appointment right away and they went today. Doctor confirmed broncitis and got her on meds right away. My parents so love my daughter, they have since the second they met her 18 years ago. I can still see my mom and dad looking at her for for the first time and smiling. I so fell in love with my parents even more that day. In all my life, I have made them both so proud with her. I don't know if that makes any sense but O'well, it does to me! I will be forever grateful to my parents and everything they do. I know they do it out of love for me and my daughter but do they really really know how much I love them????

I hope my daughter treasures this time in her life like no other! Value this time with her grandparents.....

I could keep rambling on but I wont....

Today my energy has been pretty low.... I could have layed around all day but didn't!!! My left hip is killing me!!! I did go the Y and ride the bike though. I was going to swim for a little while but the water was just not warm enough for me, maybe tomorrow!! I will be doing some form of excercise, something!!!! Even if only for a little bit.....

Gotta go do the dishes.....

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Day 12?????

Ok so technically it is not day 12 but it is the 12th day of me writing since I said I was going to do 28 days of writing something positive, man it is hard some days.

I am just going to recap how the past couple of days have been and what I have been doing. It is going to be in no certain order...

I went bowling with Jim, Kyle, Sue and Mike. Had a BLAST!! I actually bowled in the 140's. I had to go down in the weight of my ball, could only bowl 2 games....hurt like a son of a gun a couple hours later and I can't wait to do it again!!!! I grew up is sooo much fun!!!

I had a kinda scary morning. I woke up and just couldn't get going. I know that is how most of my mornings go but this 1 was weird. I couldn't keep my head up, couldn't stay awake, felt light headed, kinda nausea's and my body just didn't want to work. I called Jim because it scared me that much. Finally about 2:00ish, I started to feel better. I really didn't like that feeling!!!

My tiredness had been off the charts this past week and my pain has not been below a 6. I had days were it would be in the 100's.....but I just try to keep on trudging along!! This past Thursday I thought I would play volleyball with the team. This was only my 2nd time ever playing. I really wasn't feeling up to it but if I didn't play then our team might have had to forfeit. Let's put it this way, I hurt so bad that I felt sick to my stomach. I am by far not that good but I really wanted to try. I get soooo tired of laying around, I wanted to use my body. My hips and knees have gotten so bad!!! Anyway back to volleyball, at the end of the 2nd game, I fell on my knees! That was it for me!! I left the court trying not to throw up and cry at the same time!! I sat out the last game. We only have 1 game left, not sure what I am going to do yet?????

Our yard has been so messy with leaves....In the past I could have gone out and taken care of everything. HaHa, it took me all week to rake the front yard and bag 3 bags. Thank you soooo much to Kyle for helping me out!! Love ya for it...:) I mean it actually took me 5 days to just rake what I could have done in 1 day before! So sad for me.
A huge shout out to my hubby for all the work he did on Saturday, Our yard now looks really good! Of course there are leaves everywhere again!!

My dog loves playing in the leaves except for the fact that she has hurt her leg again.........I don't know what we will do because we can't afford the surgery!!!! Our pathfinder needs some major work, the transmission is going and Nissan is not doing a recall even though they have had several other complaints. I don't know what we are going to do???????? Make payments on a car you can't drive??????

Still struggling with my weight!!! I am not going to give up. I know I can loose it.......

Have a pretty good week ahead of me....Michelle and I have a bead party Tuesday night, let's hope it is a good one.

I am going to the Y this week and am going to ride the bike. I would like to even swim some laps in the pool!!! Please say a prayer for me that I can do this....I feel so much better when I get to be active!! It is just getting me to do it, I mean having the energy............please say a prayer for me that I loose this weight. I know it is not helping my health!!!! I have cut my Lyrica down to 1 a day and am trying to cut out just have to find something to switch it with. Everywhere I read or everyone I talk to says that the Lyrica caused them to gain weight. I know, me not being very active and I could cut back on some eating to help with my weight but the Lyrica is not helping!!!!!!

Ok I am going to be blogging this week. I wanted to last week but I just didn't have the energy.......

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Day 11

Didn't blog was a kinda up and down day with my emotions!!!

Yesterday was a cry and not cry day......
Jim and I have some decisions to make that have been weighing heavy on us. Fibromyalgia can really screw with your life!!! I am dealing with a lot of guilt over husband is such an awesome man and I honestly have wondered if he would be better off without me some days. What I mean by that would his life be if he had never met me???? As I have told him though, he is stuck with me now because I am not going anywhere!!! I cannot believe we have almost been married 5 years!!! November 20th 2004 is one of the happiest days of my life!!!! I love you baby!!!!

My fatigue is getting to be almost unbearable for me. The thought of laying around is almost killing me. I know I am being such a drama queen but I wanna be!!! I am a person who used to be non stop and now I just lay around all day!!! I hate it!!! You say, just get your a__s up! Well you know is not that freakin easy!! If I could I would!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The bottom 1/2 of my body is almost as wide as I am tall!!!

So for some positiveness.......We went bowling last night and had so much fun! I had the perfect ball...I had to go down in ball weight though. I bowled a 141 and a 142. Considering I have not bowled in a couple months, I was so happy! It was fun watching Kyle and his dad have a little friendly competition too. In the last game, Jim got 4 strikes right in a row to get a 177 and Kyle comes back and beats his dad with a 179. Sue and Mike just had fun :) We decided last night to not wait another month to bowl again. I cannot wait.....I can't bowl 4 games like I used to and don't have the ooommmppphhhh behind the throw like I used to have but I had a blast!!! I loved being active!!!

Today I am going to Michelle's to do some beading and I am going to clean up some leaves in the yard....hopefully! I am feeling pretty good today and want to take advantage of it.
We also are having a guest for supper tonight...a young man from our church. I am cooking spaghetti, garlic bread and salad. Great guy to talk to.

Well gotta get up and get going........I want to enjoy my day!!!!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Day 10

Had a great time at church this morning, felt really good and actually kinda pretty. Of course, then I looked in the mirror and saw how big I am. O'well, one day at a time huh?

My positive thing for today is I REALLY LOVE MY HUSBAND!!! (and he knows it too) Jim has really been craving Indian food and has been asking me to go eat it with him (gag me) and I have been putting him off. Well today we went and had Indian food after church. I ate very little....I really tried!!! Important thing is that Jim got his Indian food. I love making him happy. When I do something little for him and it makes him heart just swells!!!

My fatigue is getting so much worse. I am getting very little done some days and it is so depressing. I lay there wanting to move, thinking of what all I need to get done. I so miss the old me, running around, staying busy!!!! My pain has been somewhat tolerable these past days....I just wish I could move. It is so hard to explain.....I love you Jim!!! Thank you for being you. I am so blessed to have you for my husband!!! You try so hard to understand.........

I am going to continue making my daily to do list and getting done what I can!!!