Monday, August 24, 2009

OK so yesterday, everything kind of a downward spiral!!!! Went to church feeling really good, great mood. Feet were killing me but kept a smile on my face!! Saw a friend of mine that looked awesome, she was wearing the same colors and same kind of outfit that I was wearing and I started to feet really frumpy. I jokingly said to a friend that I was the before picture and she was the after in a weight loss commercial. I love her to death and believe me she has worked very hard and is very disciplined. It is something I have to deal with myself!! I need help......I am going to beg my husband to walk with me. I mean long walks. I need someone to do it with me and none of my friends have a schedule that allows them to do it with me or they don't walk. I am doing the classes at the gym but need the walking too!
Came home from church and started feeling ugh about my daughter. I am really missing her!!!! She started college this week and doesn't need me as much I wish she did. I am so proud of her, she has turned into such a beautiful person, inside and out!! I miss her telling me about her life....
She has met a young man and they are hanging out together.....I remember how it was. I can't wait to meet him someday. He really makes her smile, I can hear it in her voice!
I know she hates it when I call her so much and I really do try not to....I just miss her and wish we were closer!!! My husband had to suffer me ranting about that, he is such a great man!!!

Then we went to youth group and I forgot to take my medicine. The pain was awful!! That just ruined my mood. The pain just eats at me! I called my sister in law today to talk to her about her foot pain. Claire has had Fibro for many years and her feet are by far her worst part. She says if she could get by with out her feet, she would. Has tried every pain pill you can think of....gave me the names of some things to look at though. It was great to talk to someone that has the same pain and understands it.
Anyway after youth we dropped Nick off and by this time I was ready to jump off a bridge!!! The pain was every were and I just wanted to crawl into a hole. My dearest friend Michele started to talk to me about meds and what she has read on line, well I didn't take it to well.
We went home and I went up stairs. Jim stayed down stairs and talked with some friends :) I was so happy for him. He doesn't have to think about me.....
Well after they left he came up stairs to see me and I LOST it. Had a meltdown!!! The whole day just got to me.
Gotto go, my hunny is coming home for lunch and I am going to make him a sandwich.


  1. Some days we just need to have a good cry!!


  2. Lynn
    First off let me tell you that your daughter will always need you! Take this advice and believe it from this very old wise person,ME! Even though she acts like she doesn't care, she does!! You know how close I am with my girls and sometimes they act like that. They do not do it on purpose, they have a busy life and I might not be calling at a good time for them. BUT when all is said and done they LOVE ME and still NEED ME even though they are 30 and 23. And I KNOW that is TRUE for you and your DAUGHTER!
    The next thing I want to say to you is that I think you are a VERY BRAVE and AWESOME PERSON! I just want to CRY but I need to lift you UP! KEEP LOOKING TO THE LORD! HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH! I KNOW YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS TO HELP OTHERS! I just feel it from deep in my SOUL! I can't tell you how much you have meant to me in my LIFE! I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND!