Sunday, October 11, 2009

Nothing like having a good cry!!! I am so full of mixed emotions right now......I am feeling sorry for myself and Jim. I worry that Jim is going to resent me. Today we went to some friends house and I was ready to leave after about 30 minutes. Jim was having a good time and I was the party pooper. We did stay a couple of hours though. Really nice friends, we should spend more time with them.
When we got home we had a discussion about how I am not like the girl he married. I actually started the talk because I felt something was bugging him. I am so afraid that he is going to tire of the "new" me. I know Jim loves me with all his heart and would do anything in the world for me, he truly is an awesome husband!!! Having fibro not only affects the way you feel but what you do and who you are!!! It affects the people you love.......fibro is so ugly.

I so miss the old me.....I think about it every second of my day. It is the worst part of having fibro. Especially when people look at you and you look the same (plus 30 pounds) I have become such a recluse, I hate to make plans, i am fine being by myself. how is this fair to jim??? it is not!!! he is supposed to be understanding, isn't he?? no!! i don't understand myself!!! i hate this for him so much...he deserves so much more!!

How do you get family members to understand when they are really hurting you. How do you get family members to understand that what they are doing really hurts you to your heart. I'm told no big deal, it is just part of their lives. They don't mean anything by still hurts you!! No matter what you say, they don't get it.....or don't want to!!!
They get frustrated with you instead of trying to really understand....

I love my cat!!!!!

fibro changes everyones lives......

I love you Jim.......

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