R IS FOR RAGE, REGRET AND RESPONSIBILITY
Lately I have been wanting to fly off in a rage when pain my gets really intense!! I am so tired of hurting and trying to live a normal life. As I have said before, people look at me and think I look fine or they way I behave I am not in pain. I have been suffering with some sort of pain since October of 2007 and I am so tired!!! Some days I brush my hair and that alone can set me off. The pain and the frustration makes me want to just throw my brush and break something!! I mean come on brushing my hair.....it hurts my head, my arms hurt moving them.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs sometimes when I can't do something.....I want to rant and rave....
I regret that Jim is having to live this with me. It affects not only me but him as well. I asked him last night if he would love me forever and stay with me forever??? In sickness and health till death do you part!!! He said yes, sometimes I just need to hear that. I know this is so hard on him...I am not easy to live with, haha!! I have become a less happy person and I admit I take some of it out on him. I don't answer him as nicely as I used to. I snap alot easier than I used to. Believe it or not, I used to be a pretty happy person. Being in constant pain really wares on you... This has also changed Jim too. Jim's patience with me is really changing, understandable!!! Our marriage is strong but we are having to really TALK to each other more often to make sure we don't loose focus on each other!!
Jim and I are responsible to each other.....
Today is going to be a good day....I AM GOING TO MAKE IT THAT WAY!!! I have that mental attitude now lets see if my body will work with me.
Really great blog! I've had Fibromyalgia for the last two years (formally diagnosed) and it sucks. Blogging helps ........kind of sounds like we are on the same page. Mine is called seeking equilbrium and I haven't found it yet either.
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