Thursday, January 28, 2010

Really trying

I am really trying to stay positive....The past 2 weeks have been the best 2 weeks in the last 2/3 years. My pain has been manageable. I have been able to get thru my days without my pain adding to my fatigue. I am usually so tired that my day is unbearable and my pain on top of that just makes me not want to live. I think that is the first time I have actually said that!!! I keep so much of my misery inside. I know some of it shows but what is on the inside goes so deep.....

OK I started this yesterday and am back now to finish...the cold weather does not agree with me. I am sitting here and I am afraid to walk. I feel like my ankles are going to break. The pain is so intense, I am eating when I don't need to be. I just realized I am eating because of my pain. That would explain why I have gotten so fat!! ALOT OF INTENSE PAIN ALOT OF EATING!!!
My legs feel like they are on fire and my shoulders too. My shoulders have a pain that is just so hard to explain. I am sitting here watching tv and you would never know I am hurting, except that I was eating for no reason.

Ok I am trying to stay awake, my neck weighs a ton as do my eyes...:(

I have had some pretty good days....I almost felt kinda normal and it felt so good. I am positive I am going to be having some more.

Jim made me 2 appointments for next Wednesday with 2 new places. 1 is in Raleigh, The Duke Pain Clinic and a fibro specialist in Cary. He is such a great man.
I am still working out 3/4 days a week. Well if you call riding the bike exercise. I am working up to bigger and better....I really want to do this!!! Realizing that I eat when I am in pain hopefully will help.

By the way it is snowing and it looks beautiful. Tonight is supposed to be the brightest, biggest moon of the year....thinking about a short walk...:)

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