Wednesday, January 6, 2010

O IS FOR OBLIVIOUS - people are oblivious about fibromyalgia!!

I am going to my doctor next week to talk to him about me having me/cfs. After doing some research, it makes a lot of sense. (along with fibro) I am hoping he can help direct me to a doctor that specializes in this area. My pain never lets up. There is not a day that goes by where I don't hurt. My hips are really really giving me a fit. No matter what I am doing, they hurt. I wake up through out the night because of it....

My energy level is non existent!! I am always so tired. The kind of tired that doesn't go away. People say, yea, I am tired too, I didn't sleep well last night

Today has been an ok day for me. I was able to go to church...Maggie woke me up about 5:30 so I took my meds and was able to move...yea. I actually was able to come home and clean my bedroom...towards the end I was having to make myself finish! I hurt sooo bad and it was making me want to scream. I wanted to just lay down and sleep :( but I didn't...

I used to be able to take my meds about 7:30 am and was good until about 4, Now I am good until about 2:00. I have been wanting to take another dose about 9pm but have not. There are people I talk to on a regular basis that take up to 6/7 different pills a day. This is not an easy disease to live with, for me or Jim!!!

Some of my nights have not been so good. I can't sleep because I hurt so I start doing busy work and then could be up until the early am, which is not fair to Jim. He doesn't sleep well unless I am in bed with him. I love to snuggle with him :) My cat loves to snuggle too, He isn't feeling to well either and we keep each other company....He loves to sleep on my chest, as he is doing right now. He has gotten so big, he covers my entire upper body. That is pretty big too....haha!

My twitching has gotten alot worse too, I am sitting here typing and my whole body keeps jerking. My legs, my arms, my head. Some of the twitches are pretty big. Not fun!!! They scare me sometimes....that is the first time I admitted that :(

People don't have any idea what I truly go thru...I do a very good job of faking it....they don't see behind closed doors. They don't see me get out of bed in the morning. They don't get how bad I am hurting. They don't know what it is like to do the simplist chore and be exhausted afterwards. There are some days I have to push myself for hours and that alone exhausts me for hours afterwards. I smile and I laugh but on the inside I am in pain, if people only knew......

I just spoke to my friend Paul and I am here to say he can be a butt but he loves me and has a big heart. I love you too Paul Paul!!! Thank you for wanting to try and fix me but please remember not all things can be fixed!!

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