Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I am laying here and all I can do is cry and blog right now. I am so mad I can't stand it right now!!! My mom and dad need me and I can't drive to the beach right now! My body won't let me!! My mom is not doing has been 2 weeks since her surgery and she is going backwards now forwards in getting better. I was really scared talking to her on the phone yesterday. She would be talking about stuff that made no sense and then stop talking and I would be yelling to her and she would not answer me...then come back and be making no sense again. This also happened when my dad was at the hosp and it scared him too. He is worried about my mom.
I plan on leaving to go back today to speak with the doctors and find out what is going on...BUT, my dad called me this morning first thing and I heard it in his voice, he is scared. My mom woke up dizzy and her speech is back to like it was yesterday. Something is not right!!!!! I want to leave NOW and I CAN'T!!! MY BODY WON'T LET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hurt and I can't get out of bed!!! I need the strength to drive 4 hours and be there for my mom and dad!!!!!! I am so mad............I am also being sad and selfish because there is really no one I can call and talk to about how I am feeling right now...I don't want to bother anyone!!! I called Jim and he is wonderful but he is at work and I don't need to be bothering him....I so love him!!!!
I hate, hate having fibro!!!!!! I want to get up and go right now.......God, please give me strength!!!!


  1. Oh no! I am so sorry to hear that!I'd be scared too! Is she still in rehab? It sounds like she needs to go back to the hospital or get the doctor on the phone and tell him something needs to be done. You're right, something isn't right!

    One foot in front of the other and breathe. I know you hurt. Take some pain medication but not enough to mess you up driving. Do you have any sheepskin or blankets that you can put on the seats while you drive?

    I will pray for you and your family sweetie. Let me know how this works out and that everyone is ok.

    Take care my fibro sister,

  2. Lynn-Marie, I am so very, very sorry. I went thru something somewhat similar with my mom and I can understand your fear, excruciating fear, and overwhelming sadness. And, your anger, which you have every right to feel! But, Rose is right that you need to stop and breath and take your time. You are probably tensing up and that is causing the fibro to be worse. It is hard, almost impossible sometimes, but you have got to stop and calm yourself. Keep praying a small prayer, one you can say easily, one that is short but that has meaning for you. It will help you calm down and let some of the tension leave your body. God, I wish I could have been there for you this morning! How I pray that you got some help and some answers today. I pray for your mother and I pray for your father and I pray for you.

    Could it be some medicine your mom is taking that is making her feel and act this way? Oh, how I hope the doctors have solved everything by now.

    You, Lynn-Marie, need to let people help you! You can't think that you are a bother! You are not! You are like the rest of us type A squared fibro people. You do not ask for help! You do not let people help! But LET THEM! They want to and you are denying them the same feeling you get when you are able to help someone. That, and that alone, is the only selfish thing you are doing--let people help! Rose and I can only do so much over the net and over the prayer lines. You are a special, wonderful person. You need to let your friends close by help.

    Please let us know as soon as you can how you are doing. We are here for you.


  3. Sweetie,
    Just to let you know that I am praying for you and your family and I'm hoping all is ok. Feel better and know that you have a network of friends that love and care for you!

  4. Plus dear one....CJ is right. You need to let people help you. I know that is the pot calling the kettle black but in these types of situations do reach out. I know it's difficult but you are truly not a bother!

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  6. Anonymous,

    please do not leave my wife messages trying to sell things, obviously you truely do not understand what it is to have this aweful disease and the torment that the person with it and the family goes through. If you want to push a new shinney thing that will save people with fibro then start a website and spend the money on advertising. this is a blog of what my wife has to deal with fighting this disease. it is not meant to be a place where you can advertise and feed off the disease of someone else.

  7. Dear Jim,
    I am so glad you responded to this heartless jerk! I could not believe my eyes when I saw that post. I assume its some kind of spam poster. I would like to think there really is not a person of such unspeakable lack of humanity. Anyway, you should be able to delete it if/when you want to. If you could please post a short note to let us know how Lynn-Marie and her folks are doing her fibro friends would love to hear. We're worried and concerned about her. Thanks for being such a great husband. Lynn-Marie is lucky to have you.


  8. Cj and other fibro friends,
    As requested here is a short update, lynn is really struggling at this time but she is being strong for her Mom and Dad, she is in a lot of pain and is running herself raggid,, I am really dreading the first few weeks when she gets home, more then likely she will be here for a couple of weeks,,

    Her Mom isn't doing to well, actually has some major issues that I will let Lynn explain later,,

    Thanks for caring so much for her and we can feel the prayers,,

  9. Thanks, Jim. My prayers go out to you and the kids, too. We know this is not easy for any of you.

    Take care,

  10. Hi Jim,
    Just to check in and see how Mom is doing. You all are in my prayers. I just hope all this stress isn't going to knock out Lynn when she gets home. We've all (me, Michelle and CJ) have never met but we've become friends. Just know I'm here if you need anything even if I am in Vegas.
    Tell Lynn-Marie to take care.

  11. Hi,
    I came here from Rose's blog. I read the post, which I can relate to 100%.
    Like Rose, and CJ, even though I do not know you, I sure hope things improve with your mother. My mother gets like that sometimes. She gets dehydrated frequently and also gets UTI's, both of which can cause mental confusion, problems with coordination and changes in her speech.
    Thank goodness she has recovered each time but it is scary.
    It brought tears to my eyes when I saw your husband commenting for you. That is so loving.
    You are a good husband!
    I hope the days will get better very soon. Many blessings to you, your mother and your family.