Sunday, June 6, 2010

I wish I knew where to even begin with this.....the past 3 1/2 weeks have been so stressful and so long. In a quick nut shell, my mom's hip surgery turned into her going into the ICU due to heart and breathing problems. (she is doing awesome now) I don't ever want to be that close to losing my mom again!!! She is still in the hosp. and will be for about another week for rehab. You can imagine how weak she is after her surgery and then not moving for 3 weeks, she has not even had a chance to really try out her new hip. While all this has been going on we have found out that my mom has an enlarged heart and that 1/3 of it is not working. Her diabetes has gotten worse and she now has a new doctor that is working on getting her meds under control. I really believe her old doctor just kept medicating her and making her worse. My mom liked the doctor and trusted him, I really don't think he had her best interest at heart. (no pun intended) To make a long story longer, since my mom had her surgery May 12th I have been home to Greensboro a total of maybe 6 days. I am very blessed and love my parents very much. I have written about them several times in my blog and would do anything for either of them. I am here to help /support my mom and dad in any way I can!!

The next part of this I need to make a I have said before, this is my blog and I write for me! I write for therapy, to help me when I am in pain, when I need to vent, when I am sad, frustrated or whatever. I deal with severe pain everyday 24/7 and if writing things clears my mind then thats helps a little!!
What I write about next is very personal and about my family...keep in mind, I love my family. (i mean my brothers, here). This has been a very emotional couple weeks for me and weeks that I will not allow to continue or allow to bother me. I have way to many more important things to worry about! My husband, parents, daughter and my heath!!!
I do love my brothers......
There are good and bad things that happen when GOD changes things up like this. My oldest brother, Steve came in from Tenn and he has not been here for several years. Then he came back again this weekend with his wife Claire and it was really really nice. I know there has been alot of distance between my parents and Steve these past years (just life) I AM ALL ABOUT FAMILY and am working on getting Steve to call more often. I know he thinks about my parents it is just picking up the phone to call. Claire is a very unique and special person......watching her talk to my mom today, tend to her hands and feet with pure love, I cannot begin to explain how that made me feel! Claire was all about my mom today and that is all that mattered. A side note....Claire used to be a nurse years ago and after watching her today I would loved to have had her any time!!!! Jim said it best.....she showed her love for my brother in the love she showed my mother!!!!

My other brother Robert came back from Iraq and it has been a kinda hell that I really didn't think I would ever have to deal with. I used to think that Robert and I were close and boy was I way off. Somehow, somewhere thru the years he changed and forgot to tell me. I don't like the way he changed. He has always been quick to temper but when did he become so, I don't know??? can't explain it. He wants to say it was Iraq but it was before that?? I used to look up to Robert, admire him and be so proud to be his sister. When you hear of having family fights that break up brothers and sisters well this is one of those. I need to back up brothers wife and my nephew have lived with my parents since Christmas. Her name is Uliana and she is from Kirghistan (sp) anyway my brother as I said was working in Iraq so she wanted to stay here so my parents could see Eddie. Anyway her and I DO NOT see eye to eye at all and that is being nice. Well things escalated and I will leave it at that!!! What breaks my heart is I promised my mom when she went in the hosp. that I would do my best to get along with Uliana ( she knows how I feel about her) and I couldn't keep that promise. I am not telling my mom anything that happened, she doesn't need to know..... well I am still at my parents house. I have promised my dad that I will take the high road and I am!!
As for my heath it sucks!!!! I have been taking more pain meds daily and am so tired.I have been having headaches on a daily basis too, which I usually only get a couple a month. I have lost a tooth too!!!
I have to find new meds to take, I want my life back....
I could have gone home today but I want to make sure my mom is good with where she goes for rehab. Plus everyone has busy lives, I can visit with her as well as my dad. Tonight I loved staying and watching part of a movie with her and my dad. (my dad is staying the night with her) I was going to leave and my mom asked me to lay in the bed with her and stay couldn't get me to leave then!!!



  1. It is so good to have you writing again although some of it I'm sure is painful. Family dynamics are trying sometimes and I know that things will work out for the best. I'll tell you about my brother's sometime! I'm just glad your mom is doing better!! I hope the vacation will help you feel better. You have been hit by a mac truck. The stress of all of this has to have just smacked your body. Take care sweetie!!