We went on vacation last week and I am happy to report that for the most part I was able to do everything that everyone else did. I have already written about this but I have to again to get to what I want to say now. The firs morning, I had to stay behind because I hurt so bad and was so tired while everyone else went out. I started to get a cold on Thursday but that didn't really kick in till we got home. So I am really thankful for no bad fibro flares :)
SO WHY CAN'T I COME HOME AND FEEL OK???? I have almost gotten over my cold. I am so exhausted this week, I have gotten very little done. All I want to do is lay down...Now I am having a small shingles outbreak!!!! (In a very bad spot too) I think my body is trying to pay me back for last week. I could see if it was a wild week but we were in bed early pretty much every night and were pretty laid back. The really hard part is I can't fight it. I am still learning not to do that...it isn't easy though. I want to go, I want to do things with my husband. I hate that I can't do things with him and our friends. Right now he is having drinks and just called and asked me to come up and join them, I had to say no.
Jim just got a call from his best friend from high school. He is in town and he has only seen him once that I know of in about the last 20 years. I feel so bad because he is coming over and I am like O crap!!! Jim is excited to see his friend and I am the fuddy duddy that wants to rain on his parade.....my house is dirty, I have dust everywhere. I have to take a shower!!!!
I used to not be like this!! I HATE THAT THIS STINKING DISEASE HAS CHANGED ME SO MUCH!!!!! I DON'T LIKE WHAT IT HAS DONE TO ME!!!!!!
Lynn-Marie,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are feeling so bad, both physically and emotionally. FIBRO SUCKS! It truly does. I know what you mean about wanting to do things like you used to, including taking a shower and keeping the house clean! We took those things for granted and now...
We have not had friends over in over two years! I used to love planning menus and having get togethers with our friends. Now I can hardly get dinner made. I can so relate to you and all I can do is say I understand.
You are in my prayers. Its Monday night and I hope your weekend went well.
Hang in there!
me,
CJ
Oh sweetie. I feel you in this so much. It totally stinks!! Sadly Fibro doesn't take a vacation, so we still have a reality check every day when we wake up. Other people can go on vacation and have a true vacation. We just can't. It's horrible and totally unfair.
ReplyDeleteBut, that said, I have to admit that my Fibro reacts less and I do better when I control my frame of mind about it. I know it's easier said than done... but I really do think our bodies react to our stresses and depression over the Fibro. The happier I try to be and the more positive I am about this situation, the better off I am that day.
We definitely all need our down times and the days when it just really sucks. I just want you to know you aren't alone, hang in there, and I'd encourage you to fight the down-in-the-dumps feeling and pick yourself up again. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little brighter. No matter what comes, we are here to listen.
*gentle hugs*
Lynn Marie, I saw your blog at Rochelle's blog and I had to come over..I too have fibro, also Epstein Barr, which started this whole entire mess 8 years ago. 8 LONG YEARS.
ReplyDeleteWhen we go on vacation or out of town, I seem to do pretty well while gone, I don't know If I have just been lucky not to have a flare up during those times or what, but usually coming back sets me back a month...A day and evening out and about can wipe me out for a couple days. The worst part of this damn disease is so hard to explain the pain, I mean what the pain feels like. How do you even describe this kind of pain?? And from outward appearances we don't look 'sick'. I'm not sure very many really understand and I want to scream, I am not a hypochondriac!!! I've heard it all. I am so lucky with my husband, but I feel so bad for him too..he is stuck with a sick wife..I know he wants to go do things and I never know really day to day how I will be..
I feel like I sound like a broken record. I am just broken.
Stop by and say hi, its so nice to hav a litle network of others in the same boat!
Barb
Take it from someone who used to alphabetize her spice cabinet, stressing over dust isn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteIn the grand scheme of things the only thing that matters is your friends, family and their well being. People that love you know how you feel. This disease SUCKS BIG TIME and it's hard to be in constant pain. It has changed us and I'm not sure for the better. Thank goodness you have a wonderful husband who obviously loves you to distraction. I know you want to do things with him and it sucks being left behind and feeling like the fuddy duddy we are thanks to Fibro! I just hope that one day it gets better for all of us.
I keep you in my prayers sweetie!
Lynn-Marie--where are you? Is everything alright? You have not posted in a long time and I am beginning to worry about you. Just send out a little "Hi, I am here" note, would you?
ReplyDeleteI know you have gone through some very rough times lately. I hope the visit with Jim's old friend went well.
Take care and let us know how you are,
Big Hugs,
me,
CJ