Monday, May 17, 2010

why i hate fibro

Today I discovered another reason I hate having fibro, it stops me from seeing my family at a moments notice! My mother had surgery last Wednesday and Jim and I went down to Charleston to be with her and my dad. I stayed with her until Sunday. Jim came up on Friday night about midnight and then we left on Sunday. My mother is as beautiful as ever. At first I was really worried if I may be honest about my mom, scared really! It took awhile for the anthistesia(sp) to wear off and it was causing my mom to be a little "out of her head" when it came to talking to her. I don't mean that in a bad way!!!!!! She kept nodding off and on and not making any sense when she talked.
When Jim and I left on Sunday it was harder than I thought it would be....I hated to leave my mom. I want to be there to help take care of her and I am really not needed, he has enough help. At least that is what my dad says!!!! Those words hurt more than my dad realizes..

My mom was moved today to a rehab hosp much closer to their home. Instead of being 2 hours away, she is now only 20 minutes from home. I am so happy for both of my parents. At the same time I am feeling completely hurt and unwanted!! To be honest again my dad has my sister in law living at the house with my 4 year old nephew (while my brother is over sea's...non military) and he tells me she can handle everything!! That really sucks to hear..but I won't even go into that on here!!!

This really isn't about my fibro but I needed to vent.....of course the stress is doing wonders for me..:)

Jim is going to Texas on Wednesday and I had actually convinced him that I would be ok driving to the beach by myself to spend the weekend with my dad to help with the house....was told that there is no need for me to be there!! Sometimes just being there is all I want!!! I want to feel like I am being helpful. My parents have always been there for me...I like to help them where I can. Like I said even if it is getting lunch for my mom, washing clothes, bringing her flowers or just making her smile..:) I know I could do this!!!!! Since getting sick just getting up and going is not very easy for me in fact it is darn right scary and very tiring but this I wanted to do!! I felt like I could be a big help even though I am limited in what all I can do. I was excited about BEING able to do this or at least willing to try!! It might have taken me an hour or so longer to get there but I was going to this! I WAS NOT GOING TO LET MY SICKNESS/FIBRO STOP ME FROM BEING THERE TO HELP MY MOM!! Instead my dad told me he didn't need me there. There really wasn't anything for me to do.....I could find alot of things to do that would have made my mom very happy! CLEAN ROOMS, WORK IN THE GARDEN, WATER HER AFRICAN VIOLETS. I know how to clean...I have seen how other people clean, how they pick up....I know my mom would have loved what she came home to....

Can you tell I am hurt? But just as everything else.....O never mind!!!!!!!!!!


  1. Hello dear fibro sister! Sounds like the typical family. Take a step back and look at it with different eyes. Of course, I don't know the dynamics so I may be way off base and if I am, tell me. I know that when I had my surgery my daughter was asking what I wanted her to do. I said I didn't need her to do anything. That is because I didn't want to interrupt her life. She has things she needs to do and I didn't want to be a burden. Now that you say it I will call her and ask if I hurt her feelings when I said I didn't need her to do anything...... that wasn't the intention. I just didn't want to have her do things for me for two reasons. One, she wasn't feeling well either and two, because I didn't want to burden her. Could it be that?? Like I said I don't know the dynamics but it sounds like you have a good relationship with them. Maybe because he knows you don't feel well?? Again, don't know but after the emotion dies down talk to your dad. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. Glad you're safe and feel better. Right now I hurt like hell............

  2. By the way do you have my email?