Thursday, December 10, 2009

I have not blogged in awhile but today I am back!! I want to yell. rant and rave, throw something, and hit something and I CAN'T!!! I mean I could but what good would it do???

I am hurting so bad!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim and I had a really good vacation last week....until the last hours that is. My handsome, sexy, tough as nails husband sat in a plastic chair on the patio of our room and 2 of the legs snapped. He fell, injuring his leg. We ended up going to the hospital and spending $1200.00 we did not have to spend! (We do not have any credit cards we are using so all we had was our debit card, which means it came straight out of our pocket) I don't ever want to see my husband in that much pain ever again!!! I felt so helpless!! I almost went after the Xray guy when he was moving Jim's foot. Picture me with a death grip on the door handle, (I was holding it so I would not move, I wanted to go to Jim so bad!!) I had my other hand covering my mouth so I would not scream....They ended up putting him in a soft cast, nothing was broken it is some ligament damage. I think they did the cast because we were traveling home and didn't want the leg to move. It was horrible to see Jim hurt like that!!!
We went to the doctors yesterday and the cast came off and now he has a knee brace. I tell you what though, there was a gentleman working at the airport in the Dominican Republic that took such good care of Jim and getting us thru the airport. I know he wanted the tip but he was so pleasant and I say a huge Thank You to him!!!

I know I drove Jim nuts....I am such a mother er.

I was hurting so bad but I couldn't stop!! I had to be there for Jim and that makes me so mad. What I mean is I was mad at myself for hurting!! I was and am furious right now for having fibro and cfs!! I hate that I am having to push myself....I don't want to take Jim's pain away from him. Does that make sense??? I mean how dare I feel bad when my husband is in such pain??

I want to love on my husband and my pain stops that!!!! I get so angry with that!!!

I got out of bed this morning and was just "bitching" because I feel like crap!! I didn't sleep worth a darn, my legs and ankles are hurting so bad it feels unbearable at times. I wanted to take another pain pill last night but I didn't because of other side effects which are just as bad as the pain!! Then I asked Jim how he was feeling, I should have asked him first, what is wrong with me???

God is good...and everything is in his hands!!! I keep telling myself that but it doesn't make it any easier. God has his reason for testing us, I am just ready for the testing to stop. Things are going on in our life that are not fair to Jim. Jim did not sign up for certain things but because of my fibro a chain of events has happened that affects him. I am so angry about that!!! I try to let it go but it keeps popping back up.....I love you so much babe.....

I am going to try and put up some pictures later from our vacation

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