Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I can handle my fibro pain

Well I finally broke down and went to the dentist today. Jim had called around yesterday trying to find one that would work with us financially, like a payment plan or something. I need so much dental work done and my teeth have really been flaring lately. I have 2 on the left side that need immediate root canals! (yes, they are that bad)Last week I was putting orajel on my teeth and gums trying to make them feel better but that only works for a day or 2. On the right side I have a tooth that is missing where I once had a root canal done and the partial buildup was done and then the partial broke so now I have a big hole that is collecting gunk...this needs a bridge or a whole new tooth.
My gums are receding and my teeth are turning yellow....I USED TO LOVE TO SMILE!!! EVERYONE WOULD PICK ON ME BECAUSE I HAD SUCH A HUGE SMILE....


I know I have to trust that God is in control and that everything will workout.....I am just really tired of having to worry and the stress that Jim has to go thru....

Well there version of working with me is not really what we had in mind....
Lets say the crown and build up would cost 1400.00, (x 2) I could write them 4 checks and they would deposit on a month or something like that. He said they used to do monthly payment plans but got burned so many times....., maybe Jim can get something worked out. The root canal of course has to be done by someone else and that is $920.00 and I need 2 of them. The place that is doing them does not work with you. O' but of course they have this program called CARE something that you can apply for. It is like a loan/credit card program for dental and you can borrow up to $25,000 but of course we were turned down because of the bankruptcy.
Of course all these people do is look at #'s they don't look at the people...if they did they would know that we could afford to pay it back!!!!
We just don't have thousands of dollars laying around up front!!!!!
I mean we are saving up money, we are seeing things turn around and slowly but surly we are getting back on track but then this comes along and BOOM we will be back to where we started.....

I honestly have a hard time some days looking at Jim, I feel so guilty!! He works so hard and makes a very good living for us and it always me and my illnesses that come along and side slap us!!!!

I can handle my fibro pain, what I can't handle is that Jim is doing everything he can to make things right for us and my illnesses keep taking us back! It seems that every time we turn around and things seem to be going ok then something else comes up that is needed for me! Last year was one of the toughest years for us and we got thru it together! We had to file bankruptcy due to my illness and me not working. (it took us struggling for 3 years to get to that point and Jim did everything he could so the we wouldn't have to) Just going from 2 incomes to 1 income and having all the bills for 2 incomes and having a second home that just would not sell....IT TORE ME TO MY CORE!!!

I am laying here trying to write this and all I am doing is crying...I so wish my fibro pain would be intense right now and I could just curl up in a ball and not think about my teeth and what I am doing to Jim.

Jim is always telling that it will be ok but I know that he is stressing so much!!!! I hate it more than anything else.........

I mean we found out a couple of weeks ago that my car needs about 4 thousand dollars of work done to it!!!!!! Great, what do we do about that??
We just want to have our cars paid off and not have a payment and now this??????? Do we keep my car and invest the 4000.00 to fix it? Do we try and trade my car in and get another used car that will have longer payments (which will probably equal about the 4000.00) but then again, WHO is going to finance us at a good rate for a car loan?????

Jim tries so hard to make me happy and I am so blessed to have him as my husband, I AM JUST SO FREAKING PISSED OFF AT THIS STUPID DISEASE AND WHAT IT HAS TAKEN FROM US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I sound like I am having a pitty party and if that's what you want to think then so be it but as I always so......IT'S MY BLOG AND I CAN WRITE WHAT I WANT!!!!

Having fibro means you have to deal with pain EVERY day of your life, one day it maybe real low and the next it can be off the charts but you know you are going to have pain...
Having cfs means I am going to be tired alot.....I am learning to adjust to that...


ok i'm done!


  1. I have been there and done that. The unfortunate thing is the root canals. They cost so fricking much! I don't know if it's the fibro that causes this crap or it just happens at the worst possible time. Can you get VA dental or medical care? I hate all of this. It's tough to deal with ....the constant crap and the financial stress. It's no wonder we hurt all the time!!

  2. Lynn, I've told you....Getting Old is NOT for Sissies. But you have a sissy, now, who will tell you how to do this. I don't know from vast experience, but I've heard rumors about it.
    If you feel like curling up in a ball and laying down, do it.
    Sometimes our bodies just need a rest from all the things that consume us.
    I think that when we're born, we have so many (any number) of woops. Wew begin to make mistakes, and each mistake takes a woops!
    If it's a really bad mistake, it takes more than one, but if it's just something small, like spilling red paint on your mom's white linen tablecloth, it's just a FEW woops.
    Well, until she finds out that you've set the beautiful flower arrangement on it to disguise it. Then it takes a few more woops.
    But, filing for bankruptcy is quite a few woops, because someone else had to pay your debt.
    Now, here's a good lesson in economics from a hard-liner Republican: change your name to Fannie Mae, and change Jim's name to Freddie Mac. That asshole in the White House will then conscript the Anerican public to have to pay all your bills forever.
    How simple can it get?
    Is this a great country or what???
    Does Allen still sell all kinds of insurance? Could he help you get a policy? He should. After all, you gave him a really lovely daughter, and the best years of your life.
    Remind him of how long you were in labor with Alex. I'm always telling people how long I was in labor, and they instantly feel my pain.
    They can tell I'm so sincere.
    I'm surprised that you're not listening to God about this situation.
    He tells us how to solve just about all our problems.
    I'd suggest that you take your needs before your church body (or at least the Deacons/Elders) and let them help you, if they can. They can at least pray with you and Jim about this. It might be a pleasant surprise to you to find out how much people want to help those in need that they love.
    I could tell that many in your church really love you and Jim.
    Pray about this situation, and ask others to pray with you. I think God may already have some answers for you, but He likes to be asked.

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