Monday, July 23, 2012

This is getting old.....

This morning is one of those where I just want to throw things and yell!! I am sooooo tired of feeling like crud...last Friday I had a massive flare and since then have been struggling. I feel like a total waste of a person and I know I'm not it is just that day after day after day for over 5 years NEVER feeling 100% or feeling like you remember in your mind  I'm allowed to have some bad days!!!!

I could say it frustrates me but honestly it makes me a bit angry when people tell me if I was just positive, things would be better!!! Let them deal with this EVERY day and see if they are positive too!!! Don't get me wrong I do have positive days and I do realize how blessed I am!!!

I just really wish people would take the time to get to know what my life is really like before they decide to judge me or Jim for that matter. The reason I say Jim is because this effects him as well.
Today is Wednesday and since Friday I have spent the majority of my time inside the house either sitting or laying down. I have gone a few places but it has been for about an hour and then I come home and am back down again. Yard work which I soooooo want to get my hands into, I am now paying a nice young man to help me out. I went outside yesterday and did some very low key work and after about an hour back inside. Last night it took everything I had just to walk a few steps and I could have easily gone to bed by 9:00 but wanted to spend some time with my hubby.

Jim is such an awesome man!! We don't always get along and he can make me angry in a minute ( I can do the same to him,hahaha)  but I would be lost without him. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I believe with everything that is in me that GOD brought us together and that this is his plan!

8 comments:

  1. hi Lynn

    My name is Colleen and I have lived with Fibro for over 20 years now. I understand about flared and being down and trying to take care of kids, my husband at the time, a Full time job and my home it was a daily struggle but I never felt like I needed to be tied down since the diagnosis. My youngest son was just a year old when I was first diagnosed and there would be days that I couldn't hardly carry him so I would lay him on the couch to play, feed and change him. At that point I knew that stress was a key factor in trying to get this controlled I began exercing daily with the baby and my two older children I started feeling better I decided that this was my life and I was going to take it back! I have had several bad flares and new medications throughout the years I beliee last year was my worst year I could hardly walk from the pain in my legs I pushed myself to try and get through it and with medication and exercise and a Job that I do from my home I have been able to keep myself going for a few months at a time finally this summer I was able to do everything I wanted until I was diagnosed with restless leg syndrome which causes major jerking of the muscles in my legs it has been a little hard as the new medication that is used to treat the RLS is also for Parkinson's patients and leaves my extra tired. I am very hopeful that with exercise ( I swim everyday in the summer) and plenty of sleep I will again go into a remissive state. Believe me it did not hinder me in raising three my three children and my adopted son and now I have the joy of my grandchildren who range in age from 2-7 I am thankful for my husband as he has stood by me through thick and thin..Just keep moving forward that is the best advice I have ever had.

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  2. Hi Lynn,

    This is Rachel again. I totally understand how you feel. Sometime I will lost the anger controlling too, looking at other healthy person around you will make you feel even more upset.
    Especially when they do not understand what are you dealing with.

    But please remember there are around 8mil people in US dealing with this sickness and you are not alone. You can join some fibro forum to share your pain/hapiness.

    And i did survey ways to recover when I'm free.
    Few methods that attract my attention and I'm now trying at home:
    1)http://www.raystrand.com/
    Look at the Fibro column.

    2)www.co-cure.org/husband.htm

    I do believe that we can all recover. This is the first important thing we need to do.
    Our body can recover by itself, but when we do not have enough input(nutrition), our body just can't work & recover!

    You may go to nearby farmasi to get yourself some antioxidant supply (grape seed extract, fish oil, Coenzyme Q10, Magnesium/calsium/vit D). I recommend this because after taking the suppliments, although still painful, but i am more energetic to deal with it. The pain will subside (according to the doctor) in ~6 months.

    I believe we all gonna recover!!

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    1. Oh yes, another few tips for you.

      -keep your body warm always. Cold can definately make the pain worse

      -find ways to avoid the pain (find out what triggers your pain by observing & record it down in a book, record also the pain level!)

      -try to relax completely before sleep. listen to some relaxing music before sleep.
      I found if sleep in 'tense' situation, the next day pain could be unbearable.

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  4. Congratulations on being selected as one of the 21 Best Fibromyalgia Blogs of 2012.

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  5. Love your blog and wanted to let you know that I totally relate to being frustrated at not being able to do the yardwork. Right now I'm looking out of my window (from my couch of course lol) at my hedges and it looks like they're possessed they're so huge.

    Gentle hugs,

    fibromama

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  6. Thank you for sharing. Helps me feel more sane to hear of others with same feelings. I am a great gramma. Have trouble being around my ggson, not enough energy to babysit. I was daycare provider for his dad and aunt. I get so tired of putting things on my calendar and not having energy. I am workong on weight loss. Cymbalta controls my pain as long as I don't do much. We are old enough that I have to think of what happens of husband dies first, his pension goes away. Ww buy fixer houses and get them rentable. Once we finish the ones we have, we'll quit. My husband is a phlegmatic...doesn't do much without me.

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  7. Thank you for sharing. Helps me feel more sane to hear of others with same feelings. I am a great gramma. Have trouble being around my ggson, not enough energy to babysit. I was daycare provider for his dad and aunt. I get so tired of putting things on my calendar and not having energy. I am workong on weight loss. Cymbalta controls my pain as long as I don't do much. We are old enough that I have to think of what happens of husband dies first, his pension goes away. Ww buy fixer houses and get them rentable. Once we finish the ones we have, we'll quit. My husband is a phlegmatic...doesn't do much without me.

    ReplyDelete