Wednesday, October 6, 2010


What was supposed to be a romantic get a way for me and Jim is turning into an anxious romantic get away weekend.
Let me back up here......Jim and I have been talking for quite some time about going motorcycle camping. Sleeping under the stars, holding each other and just relaxing. Riding and looking at the leaves turning colors, hiking thru the woods and "exploring" nature. I emphasize that it was going to be just me and Jim!!! Now it is the whole MAVERICK group going. Which I am 100% ok with everyone going it just changes my anxious level to 100%. When it is just me and Jim, I don't worry about my hurting or being tired, he understands, loves me, is patient and I am relaxed.
(I am not saying that my friends don't love me)
I am just worried that if I wake up and can't move, will I put a damper on everyone'e mood? Will they understand? This is going to be the first ride that Jim and I have taken together in over a year and I don't want to hold everyone up by stopping along the way due to my pain.
I am trying not to stress over this to much as I don't want to bring on a flare....

The weather the past few days has been wonderful and my body has been enjoying it so much. I really want this winter to be better than the last one. I am trying to do everything I can to feel fit. I finally lost 2 more pounds!!! Yea....I am going to Tai Chi today. It is going to take every once of energy I have to get up to go there but I am going to do it!!! My pain level this week has been up and down but not above a 6, which for me is AWESOME!! My energy level has been ok, just ok. I have been having some spurts of complete energy drain. Where I will be doing just whatever and all of a sudden my whole body goes into limp mode....kinda like right now. My arms feel like they weigh a ton. I have been having what I call fibro pains too. What I mean is pain that there is NO reason for me to be having. My right wrist for about 2 weeks was in major pain and the only thing that helped was a wrap that I kept on tight. The pressure took away the pain. Then Sunday my right upper arm started hurting it was kinda like a muscle hurt and a weakness at the same time. Then yesterday it traveled down to my lower arm and it was more like a bone pain. For awhile I felt like I couldn't hold onto anything, like I had no strength. Weird, huh?? As I said, I just call it Fibro Pain!!!! No rime, no reason!!!!

O'well gotta go to the Y......I can do this!!! I HAVE TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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