Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A post by Alexx

Fibromyalgia
So today has been a relaxing day of doing nothing up until I have to go to lifeguard training at 4:30. Yesterday was mothers day and before I even get a chance to call my mom she texted me to ask if she’s a good mom. I reply saying of course she is. My mom is probably the best ever, always listening to me when I need her, never judging me, and always helping me in a tough situation even if it means lying to my dad. The list is endless. Anyways, after I texted her back yesterday I never heard anything in reply. I called once and the call wouldn’t go through and so I just left it alone thinking she was having a tough fibro day again. (If you don’t know what fibromyalgia is look it up) I called last night before going to bed and my stepdad tells me she is on the phone with their pastor, so I go to sleep. Wake up this morning and call again, no answer. Finally am able to talk to my mom and she seems to be fine. We start talking about my new job for the summer and I’ll admit I start to get a little frustrated but never did I yell. My mom gets mad at me and blows up for “yelling”. I may have been stern about a few things but never yelled. The next thing I know my ear is being blown up by my moms words and she hangs up without letting me explain. If someone does read this, the whole point of this long explanation is I am tired of fibro eating away at my mom. She has her days when she is the same mom I used to know but it kills me to listen to her get so upset that easily. It may be due to other issues in her life but fibro just adds to the struggle. Imagine waking up one morning with your mom seemingly lifeless and laying in bed all day not being able to help her feel better. Or her being in pain and wincing with every step she takes. My mom still smiles as much as she can but there is always that constant worry and wonder of how she is feeling. Not living in the same state as my mom and only being able to talk to her on the phone everyday and worrying about how she will sound when you talk to her, well it just adds to how much it sucks for this stupid fibro to eat at my mom. Yes, fibro is not a lethal disease, but it can eat away at a persons character and to me that is one of the worst kinds.

6 comments:

  1. Alexx, we all suffer with you at the losses in Lynn's life.
    I have known her longer than you have, and I would have never thought of her as having physical or social limitations, but I would have never wished this terrible living hell on her, either.
    When she yells, it like a cry for help. She is more tired of her complaints than we could ever be, and she becomes impatient with herself. Her yelling is just a coping mechanism, and she'd rather yell at some person than scream in pain, which is what she really wants to do.
    She was a good mother to you when you were growing up, and she went through a lot to give you all that she has. She has always been bright and bubbly, but this terrible disease has robbed her of more than just her health. It's robbed her of her lively spontanaity, her bubbly sense of humor, and her ability to just brush off the things that she would have when she was younger and not ill.
    She is still the Lynn we love, and she will always be loved by us all.
    It takes patience to live with an ill person, and just because your mother doesn't bleed or bruise or have visible signs of illness doesn't mean that she's not suffering.
    She hates just as much as we do that she's limited and sometimes ill-tempered.
    We just have to take her as she is now.
    I think she's a keeper.
    You should post more often. It gives others insight into another side of your mother's character and her struggles with the devil known as Fibro.
    We would also like to know more about YOU.
    Love,
    Your Aunt Claire

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