Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I am alive!
Hi, my name is Lynn and I have Fibromyalgia. I just thought I should reintroduce myself since it has been a month since I last blogged.....I mean I of all people know how bad our memory is!!! Mine seems to be getting so much worse that sometimes I feel like I am living in a parallel world???
Before I go on I should probably explain why I have not blogged in so log. Honestly, I have no good reason but here are a few of my reasons/excuses....1. just don't want to think and write. 2. don't want to complain anymore. 3. don't want to fall asleep while typing 4. the days that I am moving about I do not want to stop to think and type. 5. I was without a laptop for a week. 6. I just needed a break!!!!
Since it has been soooooo long since I blogged I really don't know where to start with my thoughts so I am just going to start rambling and see where I end up.
Right now I am laying here typing this and my arm is hurting. I have a shingles out break for the 2nd time in about a month! I have a scar from the first batch and this outbreak is right next to it. I have got to go back to my doctor and get back on the daily meds I was taking for this. I just REALLY don't want any more medicine! Then again I REALLY don't want Shingles!!! THEY HURT!!!!!!
This past month has been a lazy month for me and I don't like it. What I mean is when I wake up in the morning I am taking way to long to get going! I waste 2 or 3 hours every day doing nothing. I hate it!!!
Ok it has been a few days since I wrote that and I am back again. I am going to post this one!!!
I don't know what my problem is??? I just can't seem to get going in the morning? I waste so many hours of my day doing nothing before I start my day. I don't know what it is??? I don't think it is depression??? I am typing this and want to scream because it is 12:30, the sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky and I am lying on my bed typing this,,,,,what the FRIG????? This is so not me!!!!! I keep falling asleep, my head bobs off and it is a heavy bob!!!
I HAVE GOT TO BREAK THIS CYCLE!!!!! IT IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!
I drove to Wilmington Tuesday and stayed the night at my sister in law Kris's house. Why, you ask? My dentist is in Wilmington. Why do I drive 3 1/2 hours to my dentist? Because they take payments and I need about 4,000 worth of dental work done. I just had my permanent crown put on yesterday and they did a good job. Now I am trying to decide if I want a bridge or an implant done on a back tooth. If I have enough bone I think I will go with the implant. They are really good.....BOZART FAMILY DENTIST
I have decided to do an experiment....when I woke up yesterday I WAS NOT IN PAIN!!!!!! IT FELT WONDERFUL!!!!! The only thing different was that I was closer to the beach and the bed I slept in was super soft and comfy.
I am going to the beach this Sunday and am going to track how I feel every morning. I know that for the most part I do very well at the beach but was it the bed?????
I am trying to keep my stress level down but when you come home and find one of the windows in your house falling out. Not actually falling out but the trim in the middle that holds them in was just flapping in the wind!! Why do they have to cost so much???? It seems like every time we start to save and get somewhere something comes up. I mean we are trying to save up to get my car fixed which is a couple thousand then comes the windows. We have always hoped that the airport would help with the windows but we can't wait any longer.....$7852.00 That is for the basic basic windows. No frills...
I know that God will provide and that worrying will do me no good so I put it in his hands. This is so hard for me to do. I just want our house to look nice and be able to open the windows. I know our house looks nice, I know, I know!! I am just so tired of worrying!!!! I don't mean to sound spoiled and I don't mean it that way. I actually got sick/knots in my stomach last night about this. I have worried about our windows for years and I have actually dreamed that they fell out during a storm...God I give this worry to you!
As for my pain I have been doing ok.....when I posted the other day I had shingles on my arm. Well, it went away for about 2/3 days, came back again and is back again in a 3rd spot. All on my arm......I am going to make a dr. appointment today.
When I wake up I take 2 pills for pain (excuse me, when my cat wakes me up) and for awhile there I could take my afternoon pills anywhere from 3 to 6, now if I don't take them by 4 I am suffering. I am finding that my mid afternoons are hurting more......
I really don't like feeling as though I am being buried under by stress!!! I feel like I have soooo much to do and can't seem to get it done...
1. Get yard done
clean up top of hill
plant flowers around mail box and paint mailbox post
plants on other side of driveway
rose bushes around garage
2. yard sale
clean up from yard sale
3. mission trip auction
get items for auction
make signs for actions - delegate
4. mission trip yard sale
I need to post more often, I forgot how therapeutic this could be.....:)