Doing time on the inside

I wrote this for my loving bride, for after many conversations I felt I needed to try to put her words into a letter for all to read, this is full of personal pain and love, I am sure I didn’t capture everything correctly, but I tried to explain what I hear her saying to me. There are things I left out as they run to deep to even put on paper for people to see. I have no clue what it is like to have this disease but I do know what its like to Love a women and to watch day in and day out her suffering with the invisible disease…

Doing time on the inside
Locked in this prison, doing time
No hope of escape from the fleshly bonds
Invisible for all to see, but look in my eyes and you will see
I am doing time locked in my flesh, being tormented with every breath
I look at pictures of who I used to be before this prison took over me
Look in my eyes and you will see, the pain and hurt does not cease
No hope of pardons, no hope for freedom I am locked in my prison of earthly flesh
Look in my eyes and there you will see the glimmer of who I used to be
I am doing time with those I love; the sentence has affected all those I love
I am scared for my daughter, with this sentence I carry
I look in her eyes and see all of the her dreams, I pray the invisible is what she never sees
Look in my eyes as I am doing time, I see your laughter and I want to cry
I see your hurt and I cannot not cry, I numb from emotions from these prison walls
Its not that I don’t have them anymore, they have just been numbed by the invisible
Look at my eyes and you will see a purple little butterfly keeping hold of me
There was no trial for the sentence I carry; I woke up one morning to find these walls
Life has been changed all those who walk this earth with this invisible disease
Life has been changed for all those who love the one who is doing time
LOOK in my eyes if you do care and there you will find who I really am
Look around not in despair as this sentence I carry shows me who cares
I feel all alone in the prison I am in, but I hope and I pray that the sentence I carry
Will keep the ones I love from ever having to suffer for the sentence is forever on this place that we live
Look in my eyes and then no words will need to be said
Look in my eyes and you will see I am loved by many who cannot conceive
What it is like to live in this prison, but love me the same as before this disease
This sentence has taken so many things from me, but it can’t take my spirit and those who love me