Wednesday, October 19, 2011

another day in fibro land...

Good morning and welcome to fibro land! What would you like to do today? Lay in bed all day and mindlessly play on your laptop talking to your fibro friends? Lay on the couch and watch tv? In fibro land your choices are endless.......you can do all these and not even take a shower! WHICH BY THE WAY, I TOOK A REALLY NICE WARM BATH LAST NIGHT AND LOVED IT!! So I am clean...:)
In fibro land you get to enjoy the feeling of your body weighing a ton and just melting into where ever you are sitting/laying. I can even feel my butt getting wider and that is all free of charge! I know we (people with fibro) are always saying to people that don't have fibro, imagine having the worst possible case of the flu you can have and remember how lifeless you felt, now take that feeling and multiply it 5 TIMES and that is how I have been feeling since Sunday. I don't just get this way with the flu, I get this way ALL year long!!! I get this way at the drop of a hat! I can get this way just because and to top it off I get to enjoy the fun filled ride while in extreme pain!

Then the isolation sets in because everyone is living their life and you start to wish that just 1 person would notice that you are missing from life. Which makes me even sadder that no one notices.....it reminds me how my life has changed and how my girlfriends all have lives and I don't. They have no reason to call me.......they will never know that I have been house bound for almost a week, that I have cried because I so want to be outside and can't. I wish that Jim had someone to talk to about this.....this is sooo hard on him too!! I am sure he loves going to work and actually having some "normal" things happen. What I mean is, he can get away from this.....

People don't want to ask because they don't want to hear about it........:(
Someone I know and used to be very close to doesn't ask how I am doing because she doesn't want to hear anything negative. She only believes in thinking positive thoughts...which I do too and I love to think that way but sometimes I just want to talk and let it out. Only problem is no one wants to hear about it. I think they think after 4 years, I should be done with it, Well guess what, I have this for the rest of my life!!!!! I really do try to be positive and keep a smile on my face but you know what, THIS JUST REALLY SUCKS AND SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!!! I texted a friend this morning about something and told her about being so tired and she said I really should try liking coffee ( i can't stand it) I also told her that I have to go to an appointment at 2:00 today and she said that maybe getting up and going will make me feel better.....I know she meant well but it is just not that easy....

Well I have to cut this short because I just got an exciting email from my daughter that I need to read.....she can make me smile....:)

3 comments:

  1. Ohhhh sweetie, I'm so sorry. This does suck. Sometimes there's just no other way to say it. It is what it is. Sometimes it feels hopeless and like there's no way out. But I'm thankful that's not true - we do have hope in God and in our family that's always there for us. Even in those toughest times. There are still people we can count on and things we can do, even if very minimal. It is hard for some people to hear the negative sides, which is unfortunate because sometimes it just really is all negative. Fibro is such a roller coaster ride. Urg.

    I'm getting so exhausted I actually have no idea if these even makes any sense... I think I just rambled. Anyway, hang in there. There are people across the blogosphere who get it. We're around. We know. You are not alone. Praying for & thinking of you!!! {gentle hugs}

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  2. People in the blogosphere do want to know how you are, even if it's negative...

    So keep posting, it's a good thing...


    :-)

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