tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8073072745301054011.post352012567032243005..comments2023-10-31T05:55:39.068-04:00Comments on The Invisible disease, the journey of a Fibromyalgia Fighter: Getting ExcitedLynn-Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08516486419680891806noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8073072745301054011.post-79879802488800784722010-12-22T10:06:53.028-05:002010-12-22T10:06:53.028-05:00Lynn, I guess it's your turn to make me cry wi...Lynn, I guess it's your turn to make me cry with your post. I didn't even think about taking care of your mother, it just comes naturally to me, I suppose, after all the years I spent doing Clinical Nursing. I'm glad it meant so much to you, and I still have hopes that I helped Marge.<br />I don't want you to get stressed about the holidays or us coming to see you. There are no special preparations to the feeding and care of relatives. Just throw some raw meat on the table and stand back to watch the snapping and snarling begin.<br />Tell Jim to lock up the liquor. We make mean drunks. Be sure your homeowner's insurance is paid up, and keep a lawyer on retainer.<br />Notify the local fire department that they may get the chance to practice their skills on your house.<br />Notify the local police that there are toungue-talking, shouting, isle-running, snake-handling Pentecostals coming for a three-day revival, so they won't get too excited when all the racket starts. It may help to explain away all the rough-housing that's sure to ensue when we all get together. <br />Buy your neighbors a ticket for a cruise.<br />Hide all the scissors and knives.<br />Pull up any nice carpets or wool rugs. I've found that blood just won't come out of wool, but will wash off concrete with a pressure washer. Decks are a little dicey, though, so you might want to invest in a few really heavy-duty tarps to throw down.<br />Get Jim to nail up some plywood over the windows.<br />Farm out any pets, birds, or fish you have. Remember, we're a rowdy bunch who are accustomed to swatting lunch back into the wok.<br />Put your feather pillows in storage. They make a dreadful mess when they're torn open. Go get some cheap foam pillows from Big Lots. They're good for soft targets.<br />Do not assume that hiding all the guns will prevent 'little accidents' from happening. When the beds get over-turned and the dining room buffet gets thrown to the floor, we'll find the guns. Have Jim take them to a friend's house for a few days. Besides, being convicted felons, we no longer have the civil right to handle firearms.<br />DON'T have a Christmas Tree. They look so much like a toilet brush, and I've found that I really prefer paper.<br />Tell your pastor that you sent out the invitations before you googled our criminal records.<br />Assure your community that the noise will stop around daylight, because we all have to be back in our coffins before the sun comes up.<br />These simple steps should make for a lovely, fun-filled holiday. Stress goes poof!TheQueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722317747376288520noreply@blogger.com